There I was again, on a date. I have tried so many apps, and yes, I have tried it the old fashion way but I just don’t have time for that. Most of the time I agree to see someone that is advertised as in shape, but the person that shows up is fat or ugly, and they all say the same thing, “Oh that was taken a few years ago.” Now I don’t have a problem with fat or ugly people but when you lie, I have a problem with it. Just post the real you so that it is all out in the open. Ugh.

This guy and I had agreed to meet at a steak house. It was a chain, so you pretty much know what the place looked like already. All the floor plans are about the same in these places. We happened to be tucked away in the back, but I could still see the bathroom and kitchen. That was nice in case this guy turned out to be a creep, I could sneak away.

We showed up together and he was polite enough. He did all the normal things like opening doors for me and waiting for me to sit down. All of this had gotten so boring to me now. Every date was turning out to be the same. Honestly, it would have been nice to go out with an asshole at this point just to get some diversity in my life.

He was handsome, but boring. It’s nice to have something good to look at but it is not going to work if I don’t enjoy listening and being around you. He showed up in jeans and a sport coat. I remember the first date that I went on where the man was wearing that and I was excited, but now I just roll my eyes. He seemed to have a good enough job because he did talk about that for quite some time. Some office gig that really wasn’t as impressive as he was making it sound.

Our waiter came to the table and took our order. Now he was something to talk about. About 6 foot 1 or 6 foot 2 with black hair parted to one side. His eyes were dark and seductive. I don’t even think that he was meaning to, but he was giving me a look that was doing it for me. I returned the look as best I could trying to block out the rest of the world.

A close girlfriend of mine taught me a trick that has worked for me for years now. She said it’s the ‘fuck me’ look. It works best when you have all the smoky eye makeup on. When you look at someone, imagine doing everything dirty with them as you are looking them in the eyes. It took me a while to get it, but once I did it was obvious. There is just something that your eyes and face did when you were thinking about sex and exchanging eye contact. I don’t have to understand it to use it, thank God. I have also heard that if you can exchange 7 seconds of uninterrupted eye contact, it is the same feeling as seeing someone naked. I don’t know how much of that is true, but we had surpassed the 7 second mark and I was feeling it.

He had been telling me all about the specials for the evening as my mind was undressing this gorgeous man and fucking him right on our table.

“Would you like to start with something to drink?” he said in an Italian accent.

Everything that Hollywood had taught us was that Italians were more sexual by nature so this was a turn on as well.

I ordered a draft, and he nodded and turned to my date. I was angry with him for being present. I felt like the guy I was on a date with was hindering my chances with this beautiful stranger.