For days I didn’t talk about it or even acknowledge it. Time had moved on and so had I. I was going to ignore it all. Pretend it never happened. That’s what I would do. Made sense. I kept smiling to people, never letting anything on. Sarah never said anything so she must have not heard… or heard and wanted to keep quiet. Fine. So did I! I was not a sub—I was going to beat this feeling.

I had to stop talking to Dom. It was difficult but necessary. He could make me do things and I knew I shouldn’t send him any more pictures of my red ass after spanking it for him. It didn’t matter as other men continued to message me on the board. Some were not worth replying to but others peaked my interest.

I named my favorite “The Player”. He was different than Dom. He seemed to like me more. But he is so rational! So logical. His first few messages sounded a familiar tone: “All girls like to be told what to do. Even smart, strong ones like to be used.” I was shocked—no woman would want that. But I started thinking and looking at other girls more. They wore short dresses, high heels, and low-cut shirts. Their sun soaked bodies were always tan. They laughed at all the jokes and flirted shamelessly. They would put their hands on the men, blushing.

And they got all the attention.

Here I was, trying to be conservative and without a single long term prospect in sight. As I talked more and more to Player, he brought up increasingly good points. Why was I killing myself for no reason? He is very low-key, never asking for pictures though I would give them. He simply says, “Don’t feel awkward, it is sex, it should be fun. You should just feel like you want more cum pumped inside of you.”

I happily talked to him for days. He sounded so smart, so funny, and had a great job so what wasn’t to like! I wanted to forever ignore that moment in the bathroom with Sarah and I had started to. But then Player mentioned how girls shouldn’t be constrained. I said I should be—I didn’t want to lose control like that one day in the bathroom. But Player ordered me to. He said, “maybe make a sex joke or say something dirty to a cute guy at work. See if you can give him an erection.”

I didn’t want to at first. It seemed dangerous. But I thought back to all those girls flirting and thought, “I should be more like them and not as afraid of sex.” So after a few weeks I started taking his advice. I started wearing higher heels at first. I thought it’d be a good test. I was shocked at how unsteady I was on them. Just doing simple office tasks was much more difficult.

Later that day I was loading the paper in the supply room, as I usually did. I didn’t usually think anything about it but the heels were giving me trouble. The back strap was cutting into my heel. As I stopped to adjust them a cute man walked over and offered to help. I mumbled ok and he quickly loaded all the paper. He winked at me before leaving. I was shocked. No one had ever offered to help me before.

Later that night I asked a friend about it. She laughed and said it was the unspoken deal with admins and the male workers. The admins show a little skin to help the men get through the day and the men will help out with small tasks to make the admins’ day easier. It was an exchange. Most of the tasks for the men at my company were mental and most of the tasks for the girls were menial. If the girls helped give the men some mental relief throughout the day then the men would help the girls with their tougher tasks, too. I was floored. I had never really thought of it that way. I wanted to experiment more!

I next wore a low-cut top. It was my favorite cream colored top with small brass buttons. Usually when I wore it, I wore an undershirt with it—but I didn’t that day. I wanted to test it out. I knew there were two male office-mates in a side room who always stared at Sarah’s chest. It had usually annoyed me but that day I picked up a random sheet of paper and walked right in. My palms were sweating as I asked them if it was their paper. Neither looked at me; they were ignoring me. I cleared my throat and asked louder. Finally one of them turned and said, “What!?” I saw his eyes lock onto my chest as I stood straighter.

“Did either of you print this out?”

“Let me see,” the man said, holding his hand out just a little while still sitting. I walked over and bent ever so slightly to give it to him. He never took his eyes off of my chest. I felt my shirt sag a little. His eyes studied the view. I blushed and quickly stood up, leaving. I went into the bathroom, shaking. I couldn’t believe I had done that! It was horrible.

And yet, exciting.

I told others about it and Player ordered me to go further, saying that I “should try and think about sex all day and not touch yourself at work. Do it while wearing something just a little slutty.”

With the annual summer heat wave hitting I started wearing sun dresses.