Life of lies is hard but sometimes necessary. For gay or bi-sexual in families that find that way of life wrong or embarrassing it’s a real challenge. I should know I live in one of those families. In my 24 years I hide my true personality from everyone in my family. Some of my friends know but not many because have a double fucked up time with myself. I live in one of the bible-belt states. I live in North Carolina in a small town will not religious in nature but religious in people. A lot of people live here follow one religion or another, and in their eyes what I am is wrong. I’m bi-sexual male.
I guess my story starts back at Henderson Middle School. I was one of those kids that had friends and people know me but I was not poplar by any means. I was the kid people like screwing with or beating up. I was smart so I know how to handle myself without the need to fight manly because I could not fight. I lacked the will to fight. I was picked on like most students but I believe there was a few who just like me because I was so easy a target.
It was the school year of 1999 to 2000 when I start really looking at girls as more than just a friend. I had a girl friend in fifth grade but you know how it was back then. In seventh grade I was at a new school and I had a new understand and urges, it wasn’t just the girls I saw either. I not sure when I first started looking at my boy the same way as girls but I remember who the first boy was that I show intersect to. His sister and I had date for a few years, she was the girl I data back in fifth grade. He was her big goofy brother that they loved. I won’t say I love him as more than a friend because I didn’t.
His name was Bob and him and I made joke mostly about that kind of things.