To Win Her

It was one of those days of long eve studies that would leave me catching a late bus home, though on that night, I wasn’t alone. A classmate of mine needed some help in programming, and for lack of better things to do, I did just that. As we left the faculty and made our way about the campus, the young girl wearing a tight light brown checkered shirt with a well curved figure and medium long brown hair pointed yonder and said: “I have this nice dorm room that’s nearby, pretty big, for two, even got my own kitchen, but my roommate isn’t supposed to come in until next week…” Snickering, I replied: “You say that as if it is a bad thing.” “Weeeeell, it does get a little too quiet there sometimes in such a big space,” said Jane, who’d be suppressing a grin while looking down, as if hoping I’d see the attempt, which I duly noted. Besides, I know from experience that dorms are almost never quiet, except during party aftermaths.. “So it’s that big over there, eh?” I tossed up. “Yeah, it actually gets a little lonely there… You know, you could come see for yourself! I owe you a big mug of coffee for all this homework we finished after all,” said Jane, who looked away in an effort – an honest one this time – to hide a mischievous smile, which I glanced from a car window we were just passing. It was time to close it off.
“That sounds neat, but… There’s some stuff I need doing back home tomorrow morning and the buses really suck. Sorry.”
“…you sure you can’t stay for a little while?”
“Yeah, the next bus is the last one.”
“Alright… Maybe some other time,” says Jane with a mellow smile, the small glimmers in her green eyes being spared for another night.
With those words, we parted as she walked off down an alley for the dorms and I made off to the Metro.

I did lie to her, yes. It was the second-to-last bus and it was leaving in 40 minutes, when it took me five to get to the bus depot. I’d have plenty of time for at least one quickie with that lass, but I didn’t want any of it. For better or worse, it felt too easy. Girl’s lovegames make me lose interest fairly quick, you see. In their college years, they still either feign indifference to reel you in, or they like charming boys because they like thinking they got the hot stuff, or because they want to prove just that to themselves. That, or they’re sluts. I don’t judge any of it, but having observed women for as long as I have, the female mystery is gone. There’s only the sexual drive left, and for someone of my nature, that isn’t enough. There’s no true chemistry, no true sense of connection of mind as well as the body. Only fulfilling your low-level instincts.

Thinking over that, I had snuck inside an abandoned railway workshop just between the bus depot and a train station, almost literally crammed in between. A dark, crumbling, deserted place, with all the tools and material gone, only a space covered in dust and small debris. A place like that that would be begging to become a murder scene. I had thought of going there often and on that night I had done it, as it was one of those times I really, really wished something had happened. Something acute, threatening, challenging. I do not avoid trouble but trouble has avoided me so far. My mind has a need to constantly think and so all the time I thought what to do when it comes to the worst and so far, it never bore fruit.

Thinking that with a long sigh, for a short time, I directed my thoughts to take in the environment a little and caught a sound of a few planks behind me skreeking under pressure.