They call me Dr. Love…(8)

Kay and I laid in the dwindling sunlight awhile longer. The shadows cast over our bodies and the cool night air moved in. Our body heat had long disappeared in the time we’d spent gazing into one another.

Words weren’t necessary. There was a chemistry between us that we just couldn’t deny. It was like I knew exactly what she was saying…even when she was silent. I was sure she felt the same way.

This was the girl I loved. Kay. This was the girl I’d wanted ever since I could remember. This was the girl that had tormented my soul without even knowing it. She was my first love.

And how had I treated her?

Kay had, as to my knowledge, always been faithful to me. She loved me. She told me so.

No matter how many times I told Kay I loved her, something in the back of my mind wanted to contradict myself.

Did I really love her? Could it be I just felt connected to her since she was my first? I know I loved the sex, but what about Kay as a person?

I was so confused.

Almost immediately following my first sexual experience, I added another to my laundry list. Heather. How did I feel about her? I told her I loved her too. I had taken her to prom. People had assumed we were an “item” and we never corrected them. She had actually been my girlfriend. Kay never was.

Then there were the almost countless other sluts I’d fucked out of pure horniness. How could I do that if I told someone I loved them and actually meant it?

Hell, I’d even deflowered Kays own sister, Brianna. There’s another girl I’d sworn I loved. With Brianna, though, I knew from the beginning I didn’t love her. I never could. She was a good stress reliever. That’s it.

Now, I’d gotten Kay back, wanted nothing to do with Brianna, and lost Heather.

God, I missed Heather.

“What are you thinking of, baby?” Kay asked, breaking my thought process.

“Nothing. Just glad you’re back.” I said. I put on a fake smile.

Kay rolled onto her back and closed her eyes. She inhaled deeply and stretched her arms. She opened her eyes and looked at me.

“I think we better get going.” I said.

My mind was so clouded. I didn’t know what I wanted. I was ready to be in a more stable relationship. I was young, but I was already tired of whoring around from one pair of open legs to the next. Kay and I could never have that relationship. What we had now was good. Why would I want to jeopardize that?

I pulled my boots on and climbed in the truck. I reached in my doorhandle and snatched my can of chew. This was the stuff keeping me from being with Heather. Made me wish I’d never started.

Some people like to smoke cigarette after sex. I prefer a dip. So I put one in for the drive home.

Kay pulled her shorts back on over her hips and got in the truck.

I stayed silent on the drive home. Looking back now, Kay had to know something was up. I just didn’t care.

Kay rambled something about how her trip was and some of the things she’d done. I wasn’t really paying attention.

I pulled in my driveway. As expected, Kays dad was gone. I walked with Kay to her door. As we passed the top windows, I saw Brianna staring down at me. She didn’t have on a shirt, but was proudly displaying her bra. She puckered her lips in a very suggestive way. What had I done to this girl?

I spit out my chew. Kay and I walked in and went straight up to her room. Once inside, the door was left open.

As if reading my worst nightmare, Brianna waltzed into the room in her bra and skimpy panties.

“Hey, Kay, I was just wondering…Oh my God! Bret!” She yelled, playfully covering herself. “I didn’t know you were here!”

“It’s ok, Brianna. Bret’s a big boy.” Kay said.

I laid down on Kays bed. Kay laid next to me, resting her head on my arm. She closed her eyes.

“What is it?” She asked.

Brianna brought her hands down.

“I was just wondering what you were doing tonight.” She said.

“Not a thing.