The Truth About Nikki – pt8 – Back in the game.


Note: I have changed the names of the men that I dated from the time that I moved to Seattle and thereafter. These diary posts are intended to tell my story, not to embarrass the men whom I have spent time with over the years.


Life is an amazing adventure, and the way each of our minds sort and file the information and sensations that flow into it is so varied. To one person a certain series of events is terrible yet to another it is like they had won the lotto. This is how I was beginning to feel about my life working for Kevin. I was earning so much more money than I would have ever dreamed possible and I found that many doors were open to me. I found myself buying my son new clothes and toys instead of sorting through boxes at the Salvation Army store. I could now go to those stores where Kevin bought me those beautiful gowns and pick out nearly anything I wanted. For the first time in my life I had enough money to buy some purely luxury items. One of the first things that I wanted was a car of my own. This was more of a symbol to myself that I could now leave whenever I wanted to. When I told Kevin of my plan, his response was one of approval. He said he knew just the guy to set me up with wheels. Once down at the car lot I was shown a lot of different cars, but my eye kept drifting back to this mini-van, which is what I finally chose. Now all I had to do was get a license. Michael and Kevin spent many hours each sitting next to me gritting their teeth as I learned the fine points of driving until they both finally told me that I was ready. The next afternoon I passed my driving tests and brought my new van home. Which is what it was beginning to feel like, home.

In my minds eye I was beginning to live the “good life”, I was earning plenty of money, enjoyed my “job” which is more of a personal vocation than anything else, had a beautiful, healthy son, and was doing great in my college studies. As time went on I found that I was having dates not four to five days a week, but six days and sometimes at night too. When I asked Kevin about my increased work schedule he said that it was because I was being requested. To be honest, it made me feel great about myself, knowing that these men were asking for me by name, I felt a bit like a star because of it.

Before I even realized it, my son had turned four and I was getting close to getting my degree in college. I had now been dating men for Kevin for almost three years. It was then, in the early summer of 2001 that I again sat down and quietly contemplated my life and where I wanted it to take me. I had been dating men one at a time or doing the occasional group of men at private parties for so long now that it had become second nature. I had some hard decisions to make because if I wished to pursue my dreams, I was going to have to leave this safe environment and move to Seattle, Washington to complete my college goals. During this entire time Kevin would always spend at least one night each week in my bed. I asked him if he spent time with all his other ladies like he did with me. His reply surprised me because he said that I was his favorite little slut and that he only spent time with me. I had always assumed that he screwed all of his ladies from time to time, but he said that he always tried out his new girls a few times just to make sure it was fine pussy, but that was normally it. He went on to say that he had a thing for me from that very first night when he and I had first fucked at Ray’s house in Corvallis. I asked him why and he said that from the very fist time he had fucked me he had always had this fantasy that he was breeding me. Instead of being shocked or surprised, his fantasy made me feels so very sexy and desirable. I realized right then that every time he had mentioned planting his child in me while we fucked, I had experienced huge orgasms.

From the moment that Kevin had told me of his secret desire to impregnate me, I couldn’t get it out of my mind. I would fuck him so hard when we had sex after that that we would both be exhausted when he had finished, his fantasy had somehow become mine. When I finally whispered in his ear one evening that I would bear his child if he wanted me to, he flatly refused. He said that he had never bred any of his girls and wasn’t going to start mixing his seed at his age. His refusal stung me, but I couldn’t quite rid my mind of the thought of bearing Kevin’s child.

Kevin had become what I considered my only family. He was the only adult that I had ever known who had taken the time to talk to me, to offer advice and explain all of the options of each possible avenue. He had always supported my goals of an education and getting out of the business. He was my mentor and friend while still maintaining his position as my master and pimp. I sometimes felt like I was planning to runaway from home when I made my arrangements to move to Seattle.

I continued to work for Kevin right up to the moment that I had to move. I had paid my tuition at the college and had located and rented a house in Seattle, now all that was left was moving there. I had talked to Kevin several times about this and he was totally supportive of my goals. So when the time finally arrived in the fall of 2001 to move, he and Michael loaded my van with our meager possessions. I said my goodbyes to Anna, my one and only friend. I knew that she would be safe and well cared for but it was still hard to leave her behind. She and Michael had become more involved than just being a driver and a hoe in the last couple of years and now that I was moving away she was moving in to his apartment. Kevin knew that I had a considerable stash of cash which would carry me through for quite a while, but he gave me a notebook with a lot of names and numbers of men in the Seattle area that he promised were safe to date. In fact he told me that I had dated several of them over the years and then went on to explain what my rates should be for my services. It shocked me to learn what Kevin had been getting for me all this time. It was no wonder that he could afford to provide our apartment free to us; he had been keeping almost 75% of every dollar I brought in. This news didn’t upset me; the amount of money just shocked me.

My move north was uneventful and my apartment was everything it had been advertised as. Seattle on the other hand was a huge shock. It is such a huge area, comprised of so many separate communities that have been absorbed over the years that I found it very confusing to find my way around at first. Our apartment was only ten miles or so from the college, yet I found that it took an average of forty minutes each way. It was also a lot more expensive than Portland had been and was chewing away at my bankroll at a much faster rate than I had expected. I was by no means near dire straights, but it did concern me. The thing that affected me more than any other problem in my life was the loneliness. It was as if I was back under my mother’s roof again. I had forgotten what it was like to be totally alone night after night. After having Anna for so long, I found myself frequently falling into a sort of depressed stupor and it scared me. I decided that I had to find an outlet for me to again rejoin life again. One evening in March of 2002, I found my outlet, the small notepad Kevin had given me. I slowly flipped the pages as I planned my escape from my doldrums.

My plan was to “date” one gentlemen a week, just to give me a sanity break from the monotony of my life which consisted of school, school work, spending time with Trev, doing the housework, then doing it all over again.