THE PRIMA DONNA_(0)

Lisa was what they call a prima donna. She gets her nails done every two weeks like clockwork, won’t go out without her makeup on, always dresses in the latest styles, says “ish” to housework, etc. You get the idea.

She was the same way about sex. She rarely enjoyed sex and simply “got it overwith” once a week to please her fiance, Brian. Finally Brian got fed up with this and asked his buddies what he should do about it.

“Are you kidding, man?” asked his friend, Steve. “Those prima donna bitches are the randiest, man, you just have to know how to bring it out of ’em!”

“You can’t be serious,” Brian said. “She really doesn’t like sex that much. And I’m afraid to try anything but straightforward, plain sex with her because I’m afraid she’ll really hate it otherwise.”

“Nah man.” Steve put his hands on his friends shoulders, “She is dying for a real F U C K man. I wouldn’t shit you on this.”

Brian shook his head while Steve continued, “First, you gotta take her in hand, be firm with her. If she says ‘no’, then you stop, but I’ll bet she doesn’t. She may act like she’s struggling or like she doesn’t like it, but I’ll bet a week’s pay that the word ‘no’ never crosses her lips.

“Once you take her firmly in hand, tongue kiss her deep. Hold her hands behind her and talk dirty to her. Call her a slut. Then proceed to get as depraved as you want, man. She will be randy as a cathouse whore, I guarantee it.”

“Dude, that is some fucked up advice, but I just may try it,” Steve said. After all, he didn’t have much to lose.