The Night Before Christmas 7

When I asked if my mom was the founder, I didn’t expect raucous laughter. “I can see how you’d get that impression, Sir,” my mom answered far more cordially than I might have expected her to when the laughs died down. “I am the President, and I host our annual Christmas shindig, but I didn’t start this little club.”

I had so many questions – like how did she find out about it? Why did she join? There had to be some fantastic stories, but the crowd came to play the game.

“We’d love to have you, Blitzen!” Mom said, inviting our neighbor to join the DSL club, which she happened to be the president of. Just take a moment to let that sink in—you’ve just found out there’s a DSL club, and your MOM is the president. There has to be a joke or irony in there somewhere.

“What would I have to do?” Blitzen placed her finger in her mouth as if subconsciously thinking about the name of my mother’s so-called charity. I have to admit – I was now VERY curious about the club as well.

“The name of the club is Dick Sucking Ladies,” Gary, who was up next, smacked Blitzen’s ass really hard. “You’d be sucking a lot of cock, for sure!”

“We do more than suck cock,” Mom bragged before adding, “You’d have to continue your training. I could train you with Donder; it’d be fun!”

“My husband almost figured out what I was doing a few times,” Blitzen continued sucking her finger – no doubt she was subconsciously thinking about sucking dicks. It was sexy to see her so fixated on it – I could imagine the big woman in a diaper like a baby (and strangely that aroused me for reasons unknown).

“Dave is clueless; dump that loser and get a man who wants to swap you,” Harley shouted! Her voice stood out loudest amongst the other people, encouraging her to either ditch Dave or invite him along to the next party. I noticed my sister’s boyfriend looked a little nervous – as if he might be ‘ditched’ if he didn’t support my sister.

I suppose it would be for the best -if he wasn’t comfortable with Harley’s kinky interests, and she really wanted to go down this path. I still didn’t see the allure of being a swinger. I felt like there would be inherent jealousy, and the man may feel inadequate compared to some of his wife’s lovers.

“There is no way on God’s green earth I would have ever joined DSL and tried to keep it from Eddie!” my Aunt Daisy’s throaty voice shouted over the din of supportive people offering encouragement to Blitzen. “Honesty is always the way to go! That’s part of the reason it’s enshrined in the DSL code of ethics! If you decide you want to do this, you may have some tough decisions to make.”

“I thought it was enshrined because you twats are lying, conniving manipulators who have to be forced to tell the truth, even to one another?” my Dad said in a tone that was equally scathing as it was joking.

“I thought they had to be honest because it was fun to listen to them tell us they love the taste of cum, and being treated like sluts?” Harold added more like a question than a statement of fact.

“Those are all fine reasons,” Comet agreed, with a look of chagrin. “The real reason it’s in the code is because, without honesty, you can’t be a hot wife or swing. We will talk about it later. That doesn’t mean you have to go running down the street yelling to everyone that you are in DSL. I told my son that it was a woman’s charity that did a lot of work in the black community,” she said.

You should have heard the laughter- everyone was hysterical. I felt like the butt of the joke for being gullible, but there was no way I would have ever guessed it was some sort of sex club. I thought they drank wine, read books, gossiped, and worked at homeless shelters or something.

The others weren’t really laughing at me, though. They were laughing at the “black community outreach” part of the lie. It seems my mom and her friends had a thing for black guys (as sex partners), and that’s what made it hilarious. I even laughed once I figured that out.

“Yeah, I wouldn’t tell my sons jack shit about DSL. They are horny little fuckers, but they aren’t ready to hear about it. We wouldn’t ask you to rip off the band-aid and wear a Dick Sucking Ladies t-shirt to your family reunion,” Daisy said.

“Well…” Mom joked that it might be a fun dare before suggesting they table this for after the party. I still wanted to hear more about the game, but I was also anxious to see if I’d get a turn with Blitzen. I had to wait for six guys to take a turn with her – and then decide if I was going to be able to follow through.

“This is Radio Freedom,” a foreign-sounding voice announced over the speaker system.

“K-L-F!!!” the sound of a black woman singing “uh-huh-huh” signaled the game was afoot.

“Oh, I know this one!” Blitzen moved her butt back and forth happily, returning to touch the wall with her nose, pressing her big tits up against it while holding her ass cheeks apart. “This is my jam! It brings me back to my younger days!”

I’d never heard the song before – it sounded like techno-industrial music; it had a thumping beat but long periods where the drums dropped out, and there was no sound at all.

Eddie slipped a blindfold over Blitzen’s eyes and tickled her pussy, while pressing his thumb into her butt. “Just making sure you are properly lubed!” he quipped. Blitzen smiled sweetly – not seeming to mind that Eddie was casually fingering her in front of everyone.

The chorus of the techno song Blitzen liked began – the beats were infectious.

Are you ready?

Aha, aha, aha aha

The chorus chanted, “Ancients of Mu Mu!”

A few of the guys wisecracked “MOO-MOO!” like Blitzen was a cow.

Eddie had Gary blindfolded and was already spinning him. “Ever have reindeer milk?” he asked Gary.

“Nope, what does it taste like?”

“Come suck on my dick and you can find out,” Eddie laughed.

“Hey now! You’ve got three pretty reindeer over here waiting to lick a yule log!” Daisy begged for attention – I wasn’t sure if she was serious or not. No one took her up on her offer, so I assumed not.

Gary stumbled, laughing, and jabbed the head of the dildo into the middle of Blitzen’s back.

“Ouchie!” she scrunched her nose.

At least Gary apologized to Blitzen. He removed his blindfold to see where he hit – square in the middle of the spine.

“No problem, I am made of tough stuff, no harm, no foul,” Blitzen accepted his apology graciously.

“Gary, her asshole is way down here, what were you aiming for?” Eddie chuckled and stuck his finger in between her butt cheeks. Blitzen didn’t slap his hands away.

I felt a jealous, possessive energy course through my veins. I was her “rider” – shouldn’t he consult with me?

A rapper with what I assumed was a British accent spat out the lyrics to the techno song;

Have to

Move to the flow of the P.D. blaster

Bass ballistics

I’m gonna kick this hard

And you can catch it

Down with the crew crew

Talking about the Mu Mu

Justified Ancient Liberation Zulu

Blitzen was already back to shaking her hips slowly back and forth and turned around, ready for another try.

“Give it to me, Marty!” Blitzen puckered her lips and blew him a kiss before securing her blindfold and pressing her nose to the wall – sticking out her ass and offering him a chance.

Once again, I felt another shock of possessive energy. Who the fuck even was Marty? He would be banging my sister tonight! Wasn’t that enough for him?

“I might sell it to you; how much is it worth to you?” Marty spun the Peppermint colored candy dildo in his hands while Eddie secured his blindfolded and started to spin him around.

“Ooh, we may have to work out a trade, Sir!” Blitzen offered herself sexually in a very sweet-sexy Betty Boop voice.

“You’ve got more miles on you than my old Chevy, and I’ve got a college co-ed who hot to trot waiting to sit on my dick tonight. Do you think I’d trade for a fat pair of ham flaps, a stretched-out balloon knot, and two saggy milk jugs? You have to bring a little something more to the table, twat!”

Marty stalked forward. I really loathed his swagger – who was he to put this woman down? He was some middle-aged weirdo with glasses.

The others cheered, teased, taunted, and offered advice about being warm, hot, cold, but most of it was confusing.

“That’s all I’ve got! What would you like?” Blitzen offered with kindness. A far cry from the trash talk the other women had tried.

Some of the men offered up what I assumed were bizarre sex acts. “Wolfbag her!”

“Let him have an Alligator fuckhouse!” Eddie shouted.

“Do a Charizard,” Evan spoke up.

“What’s a Charizard?” some of the other guys wanted to know.

“It only works if the girl has pubic hair,” Evan grinned.