I never would’ve imagined how much making time for myself could change my outlook on life. I feel so relaxed and at peace now that I’m not trying to be everything for everyone. If someone feels that I owe them my time I just sit back quietly and calculate what they have done for me lately. Do you want to know what I figured out? It was usually the people who never gave me anything who wanted the most from me. When you’re young you want to fit in so badly that you don’t value your own time as much as you do when you gain age and wisdom.

With my child heading back to school after the holidays I figured today would be the perfect day to get out and enjoy some alone time. I don’t think I would have kept my sanity any longer if I had to endure cooking another huge feast or heard the word mommy one more time. I chose my favorite yellow dress but quickly wondered if this would be a good choice after seeing the grey skies and drab scenery of puddles lining the road. Since the library was just up the street I decided what the hell and figured I would brighten up someone’s day. After getting halfway to the library I began to regret my decision after having to smooth down my skirt because of the aggressive wind constantly trying to lift it. The moment I stepped inside the library I was relieved but when I looked down I realized that the wind had teased my “girls” just a bit too much. My nipples were hard as diamonds and while this wouldn’t be a big deal for most women I was very blessed to have huge breast. That coupled with them being covered in yellow made me feel self-conscious as I felt they were just screaming for everyone to look at them.

I decided to walk to the second level of the building instead of catching the packed elevator. Complete joy was written all over my face when I stepped up to the rows of books and inhaled the stale leather of the hardback covers. I noticed that a few poetry books that the library wouldn’t allow me to reserve was in so I decided to grab two books and find my dim corner near the back window to do a little perusing. There was a guy sitting in my favorite leather wrapped seat with the desk lamp access. I looked him over wanting to find something wrong with him to tease him about in my mind but when I found absolutely nothing wrong with his appearance I realized that I was being sort of petty.

I took a seat in one of the hard wooden chairs at the long mahogany table before deciding on which book I would read first. From the corner of my eye I saw the gentleman look up to take in who had just entered his surroundings. This was quite natural but the amount of times he looked my way made me wonder if I distracted him from his reading. I couldn’t blame him though. Whenever he wasn’t looking in my direction I was checking him out as well. His hazel eyes were sparkling even under fluorescent light. His blue suit jacket fit him snug around the arms and his pants seemed to be tailored because they fit him very well around his thighs. The only thing that could mess up this equation would be a messed up smile but I doubted that a man that was this well put together would overlook anything.

As I looked down at my book I realized that I was still on page one. I shook my head wondering what it was about this man that could distract me from my joy of reading. As he adjusted himself in his seat I was now able to read the title of the book he chose. “A Million Ways to Love One Woman”. My eyes were now searching to see if he had a ring on his finger. There wasn’t one in sight and I felt myself becoming very warm all over. A million seemed like a very lengthy evening but I sure could think of three to five things that he could do to me right now that would please one woman. I shook my head once again trying to get the inappropriate thoughts out of my head and even thought about moving to rid myself of my temptation. Defiantly I felt as if this was my corner of the library and he could take his fine ass somewhere else. There I go again, but I figured that I was grown enough to have improper thoughts if I wanted too.
My phone began to ring and the man’s eyes locked on me. I told him sorry and searched through my purse to grab my phone and stop the ringing. It was a number I didn’t recognize so I turned my ringer off and apologized once again. “Sorry about that. I usually turn my phone on vibrate in the library.” “It’s quite alright”, was his response. His voice was deep and buttery. I wondered if that was his natural voice or if it was his bedroom voice. I tried to return back to my reading but the next page made me pause before rereading the passage again. “His eyes contained golden specs that sparkled and reflected like pools of honey. His mannerisms were that of someone distinguished and his charm was his best attribute.” I took a deep breath and read further. “His subtle glances gave me butterflies as I imagined his soft and supple lips perched on my neck.” I began to fan myself as I too was now adjusting myself in my seat.

The creak of the wood beneath me caused the man to look up and I could have sworn that he wasn’t looking into my eyes.