THE LEPRECHAUN AND THE CATCHERS MITT

THE LEPRECHAUN AND THE CATCHERS MITT

push.
Sixteen hours of labor. Claire just wanted it over.
push.
Nine months of fear. Enough! If the Leprechaun was the father, so be it.
“The head’s out. It won’t be long now.”
push.
Claire could feel relief coming.
Just one more push.
“WAAAAAAAH!”
Finally it was over. A new life greated the world.
“Let me see my baby.” Claire barely got it out she was so exhausted.
No one handed over her baby. No one even looked at her. That can’t be good.
“Let me see my baby!”, Claire shouted, struggling to prop herself up on her elbows.
“Claire you have beautiful baby girl,” Dr. Shapiro said as she placed the baby in
Claire’s arms. “But we have some concerns…”
The doctor peeled the blanket from the baby’s genital area, and Claire passed out.


“Are we finished?,” Richard whined.
“No, Richard,” Claire spat out more impatiently than she intended. “We still have the Party
Shop, and we need to go to the Food Court to pick up dinner. I didn’t cook.”
“Jesus!” she thought. “Five year olds behaved better.”
“I don’t even know why I’m here,” Richard said. “You know I’m not much for shopping.”
“It’s your daughter’s birthday, Richard. You should be a part of this. It’s the least
you could do.”

King’s Court isn’t a seedy motel, but it is a motel. Zoe would have to have a little talk with
Tommy about his cheap side. Later, no time for that now. Off came the clothes, then the bed
covers. Finally, their two bodies plopped down on the cool sheets.
“Aw, come on Tommy. I don’t want that today,” she pleaded.
Truth be told, she never wanted oral sex, she merely tolerated it. And today she didn’t have
time to endulge Tommy.
“I’ll be quick about it,” he said with a grin.
“What is it with men?” she thought. “They don’t listen any better at thirty than they do at
sixteen.”
“I’m serious, Tommy,” she insisted. But his head was in her crotch before she could fight him off.
“Don’t mind me, Tommy,” she thought sarcastically. “You and my pussy just carry on without me.”

“What would you like?” Claire asked her husband, then slowly steamed inside as she watched
his eyes glaze over. This always infuriated her. Richard could make a dozen critical
decisions a day at work while doing a crossword puzzle. But a simple question of, “What do you
want to eat?”, bitch slapped him into a catatonic state.
“I don’t know, honey,” he said wearily.”Maybe what I want isn’t what you guys want.”
“Whatever you have a taste for, Richard. I’ll decided for Zoe and me.”
She wasn’t letting him off the hook. So the two of them stood together, in the middle of the
Food Court, and waited for Richard to hear from the Burning Bush.


Zoe pictured Toby, her grandmother’s basset hound, at his water bowl sloshing water everywhere.
That was Tommy. And Tommy wasn’t coming up for air until he heard his dog whistle.
“Eeeeeeeeeaaaaah!” Zoe shreiked with as much conviction as she could muster.
Tommy’s head popped up and cocked to one side with pride.
“You really needed that didn’t you?” It was more a boast than a question.
“Yeah, baby. I had no idea. No idea. Now hop up here and finish. Mommy’s running late.”

“Tokyo Grill?” Claire finally blurted out. She couldn’t take it any more.
“Okay. That’s fine with me,” Richard said relieved. Claire ordered for the three of them
and joined Richard in front of the grill. And as the two watched the cooks work their magic,
Claire drifted off to Thursdays with the Leprechaun.

Zoe was just looking for a man with a fat paycheck. Then she met Tommy, who was proving to be
even more useful as an embezzler. Zoe had big plans for Tommy Parker.
“Uuugh, God!” Tommy’s eyes were beginning to roll back in his head.
“Talk to me, Tommy!” Zoe’s voice was just below a shout.