I was tempted to run my fingers along his legs, to press my lips against his. For the past couple of days we have been playing cat and mouse. I just don’t get why he won’t kiss me. Won’t touch me the way I want him to. Was this about the whole angel thing?Am I ugly? Had I suddenly turned ugly over the years? I sigh loudly. “You okay?” Castiel asks, looking at my expression. 
  “I…,” I shake my head. “Nothing. I’m just buzzed.” It wasn’t exactly a lie. So… “I’m not very used to drinking.” That wasn’t a lie at all. I rarely ever drank. If I did, it was only because of a special occasion or because I was nervous—REALLY, REALLY nervous. 
  “You sure about that?” he asks, his tone a bit on the careful side. 
  “Yes,” I say, not looking at him. I start to debate about what I want to say next, what I wish to say, how I wish to say it, when he grabs my chin so I can look at him. After looking at him, I realize he hadn’t touched my chin at all. He had his hand raised, palm turned lightly. This was a force I couldn’t shake off, I realize half bitterly.
  “What’s wrong?” he asks, more soothing. 
  I gulp. “Nothing’s wrong,” I lie. But I wasn’t okay. Not really. The only thing I could think about was of that night. When he so gladly kissed me. No questions asked, no excuses, no hesitation. I remembered clearly the aching thirst inside of me calming down a notch. My stomach begun to flutter and my whole body started to tingle. Whether it was because of the buzz or because of how vivid it all felt to me, I didn’t know. I just knew that I wanted him. NOW. Angel or not, there was a definite attraction between us. He couldn’t deny it, though he seems inclined on it. I wanted him. He wanted me. Why couldn’t he just say so or do something about it?
  I wanted it. He did, too. I knew it pretty damn well.
  “I can see it in your eyes. Are you uncomfortable? If you are, I can take you back to your house,” he offers, still in the same monotone. He never showed emotion. I never really got why. 
  Before I said anything stupid, I leaned in to kiss him. To feel his lips. That’s what we were here for, wasn’t it? But just as my lips touched his, he pushed me away.  Not hard, but gently. I was wrong, apparently. I snap then. My face, my body, and everything inside of me goes rigid. Any sense of arousal was gone almost immediately. 
  “Hold it down,” he says, still showing no emotion but that pained look on his face. It was almost like it hurt him to touch me or go anywhere near me. The flash of anger and shock that went through me then surprised even me. It just wasn’t FAIR.
  “Excuse me,” I say, standing up. I had never been shot down before. Ever. Having him being the exception is not very comforting. So instead of saying anything, I stand up, grab my coat and my sweater, and head for the door. 
  “Eden,” he goes for my hand but I instantly take it away from his grasp. There was a pleading tone to his voice that I liked. But it made me realize that not even HE knew he wanted me. I look at his blue, blue, blue eyes and wonder to myself whether it is a good idea to be alone with him and why he was shutting me down. Why anyone would shut me down. “Please don’t go.” 
  “‘Please don’t go?'” I retort. “Castiel, I..” 
  “Just don’t,” he pleads. The pained look on his face becomes more evident. I purse my lips together.
  “No. I will leave. Because guess what? I don’t like it when a guy, specially one that I really like, turns me down just like that. Angel or no angel,” I say it as harshly as I can. He flinches slightly but stays the same. The only thing he wore was the suit his vessel had been wearing for the past year. Kinda gross but there was no smell of anything gross on him. Just this faint, sweet smell. Like it came with him.
  “What?” he asks, ‘shocked.’ I’m not buying his little act for one second.
  “You pushed me away,” I remind him. “No one turns ME down. No one has… Until now at least,” I feel my cheeks go ablaze. I was acting like such a child. A kid who complained because she didn’t get what she wanted. 
  His blue eyes catch my brown ones. I start to look away when he asks that one question I’ve been waiting for him to ask for DAYS. He uses that damn angel force to make me stay still. “You still like me?” a smile appears on his lips. It quickly turns off, replaced by a frown.  I feel myself go all buttery soft once again. His cheeks, his pale, pale pink bow-shaped lips, his big puppy dog blue eyes, his black tousled hair, his long, straight roman nose with the small bump on the very middle, his slouched form… It all makes me throb with arousal.
  I watch as he takes a step closer towards me. And then another. And then another. “Stop,” I say, making him stop. The amused look on his face disables me to look away. It’s like he knows how to get my attention. How to lock me in place with just one stare—not with his powers. He comes closer and closer. Castiel looks at me, really looks at me, and instantly closes the distance between us, the Power surrounding me pushing me back against the wall. 
  “I didn’t mean to. You just surprised me,” he says softly, still monotoned.
  “I don’t get it,” I say, feeling his warm breath hit my face. God, do I love it! It sets me on fire, makes my senses prickle with arousal. Castiel’s hands go down to my inner thighs. He spreads them out and places his knee in between. Once I know what he’s trying to do, I meet his stare. There’s that familiar lost look on his face. Like he’s not really there or like he’s trying this for the very first time ever. His innocence was there, making me feel guilty. “First you shut me down, and then you start to practically rape me,” I joke. He looks at me with those wide, lost blue, blue, blue eyes and I’m tempted to kiss him again.