Stewardess Cindy Ch 5 – Humour & Satire

Original story by Frankel Hopefully, it’ll work THIS time.

Cindy stood in the aisle waiting to do the new safety instructions as the plane prepared to take off. The new instructions were very complicated and she was worried that she would not remember them all. The captain had only just shown them to her in his hotel room before the flight. To tell the truth her jaw ached a little from them and she wasn’t sure how she would be able to do it in a real emergency.

“Gentlemen,” said Cindy. This flight was a charter flight for a major football team, so Cindy was the only woman in first class. “May I have your attention, please? I will now demonstrate the emergency procedures as we prepare to take off.”

Cindy noticed that most of the players were not paying attention. She realised that they probably thought they had seen this done so many times before. ”These are new emergency procedures,” she said. “So please pay careful attention.”

Cindy was pleased the players looked towards her now as she removed her shirt. She took her breasts in both hands and shook them up and down just as the captain had instructed. “Recent studies have shown that in an emergency many people will struggle to find an exit. To combat this, this airline has introduced a follow the bouncing ball procedure. If we make an emergency landing, please follow my bouncing breasts, which will lead you to an exit.”

Cindy could see what a clever policy this was. Normally no-one paid attention, but now every eye on the plane was on her bouncing breasts. “Thank goodness they are so big,” she thought. Even people up in coach were watching her. Cindy suddenly realised the stewardess in coach was giving the old set of instructions. She thought about warning her, but realised there was no time.

“If at any stage we experience sudden depressur…depress,” Cindy struggled with this word. “If you feel a lack of air during the flight a mask will drop down from above. Place the mask tightly around your face and breathe normally. If you feel an increase in pressure to your testicles please alert me as this is due to the change in air pressure. I am trained in sucking out the excess liquid.”

All the players hands went up. Fortunately the captain had warned her about this. It was normal for men to believe they had these symptoms when told of them. It was only in flight that there was any danger. “Any feeling of pressure in your testicles at this point is normal,” she said. “Let me know if they continue in flight after the fasten seat belt sign goes off.”

Cindy was getting tired from bouncing her breasts. She wondered how long she had to do it for. Then she had an idea. She turned to the men on either side of her. “Excuse me,” she said. “Would you please shake my breasts for me, I am getting a little tired.”

The men reached up and took her breasts in their hands. She didn’t think they were doing it quite right. She had been bouncing them and they were more massaging them. Still, it seemed to work just as well as all eyes were still on them. “I will now demonstrate the correct position to be in during an emergency landing.”

This bit would be the trickiest, especially with the men taking over the breast bouncing. “Please come with me,” she said. The men holding her breasts got out of their seats and walked with Cindy to the front row, still massaging her breasts in their hands. Cindy knelt down in the front row before the man seated in seat A2. Cindy realised that only the people in the front row could see her now. She stood back up and asked all the passengers in first class to come down the front to see.

”Isn’t the plane about to take off?” a passenger asked.