REBOUND_(4)

Following a painful romantic break-up, some people enter into a new relationship almost immediately, often with less-than-stellar results. Dating too soon after an emotionally charged break-up is known as a rebound relationship, and is almost always considered a bad idea for all parties involved. A person on the rebound may have great difficulty distinguishing between the old romantic partner and the new one, for instance. Whenever a romantic relationship ends, whether amicably or painfully, both parties should allow themselves to go through a real grieving process before pursuing new relationships. In essence, there has been a “death” of a valued relationship, and few people can recover from such an injury in only a few days or weeks. While the prospect of dating someone new, especially someone who has been kept off-limits during the old relationship, may sound like a cure, it rarely ends well. Another problem with rebound relationships is motivation. Some people who feel victimized or humiliated by a bad breakup may feel the need to start a new relationship simply to prove they are indeed over the old one. This action is often primarily directed at former partners, either in an effort to generate feelings of jealousy or to remind them of what they gave up. Neither tactic is a particularly healthy reason to pursue a relationship, and the new partner is not always as understanding or conspiratorial as one might hope.

There are times when a person may feel he or she has fully recovered from a break-up and is truly prepared to re-enter the dating scene, but this may be a premature assessment. If a new relationship starts too soon after a painful break-up, the new partner may become little more than a sounding board for all of the negatives intended for the former partner. Constant comparisons to a former boyfriend or girlfriend can be a sign of an unhealthy rebound relationship, as well as the careful avoidance of almost all dating venues associated with the former relationship.
Because there will almost inevitably be a new relationship following the dissolution of an old one, it is important to recognize the difference between a new healthy relationship and an unhealthy rebound one. Much like a widow or widower, a spurned partner may want to establish a reasonable hiatus from dating until he or she is emotionally ready. Personal counseling may also help prevent someone from entering into a shallow or unhealthy relationship until his or her self-esteem has been fully restored.

Nancy 37 recently divorced, FRIDAY 3:50 p.m. leaving work: Nancy recently out of a five-month-long divorce process and feeling restless after a several dead-end dates. Dying to have some fun. At 3:55 p.m.: Get a text from a friend,
to come to dinner. Nancy is seated directly across the table from me, I assumed, next to her husband. She had a vibrant voice, impeccable manners, and her body movements seem to be fluid as she synchronized her movements with her speech. My hostess, Denise Morgan, introduced me saying, ‘ This is Mr. John Malone, and John, this is Miss Nancy Frost, my lovely friend.’ Then she burst into robust laughter and added, ” You’re aware her father is chairman of the board of Frost bank, a large state bank.” Her eyes, yes, it is her eyes. They are dark brown in color, but appear to have a tint of orange in them. I wonder why they seem to be so full of life. Her hair is auburn adding to her apparent radiant gleam and vivaciousness. I cannot believe how exceptionally attractive this 37 year old woman is. I tried not to gaze at her so intently, it’s impolite to stare. I tried to concentrate upon Denise but I was constantly staring at the exceptionally attractive woman.

At first I was unable to determine what it was that added to the allure of Nancy that had suddenly made me feel like a teenage boy, instead of the 55-year-old business tycoon. I realized the dress she is wearing is the most attractive yellow I had ever seen. It seemed to be silk, yet there is no sheen, the thing that sets off silk from other fabrics. In addition, it is low cut emphasizing the roundness and fullness of her breasts. I could picture in my mind, the light shade of tan that most assuredly colored her nipples and areolas. She was so poised that I was convinced she was married, later I found out she was recently divorced. During dinner, she noted my lusty looks when I was
speaking to the other guests. She would smile when it was appropriate to do so, and occasionally added a few
sentences to the conversation. Most of the time however, she nodded and smiled as decorum dictated. I believed she was looking directly at me and I took her smiles to be a sign of encouragement. Looking around the table, I observed the other men were also watching the charming friend of their host. After dinner, the guests were escorted into the library, with walnut wood covering the walls, and ceiling.

Mingling with the other guests, I found myself face-to-face with the lovely friend of my host, as she smiled, I wanted to pull her into my arms and take her to bed.