REBEL HOLIDAY
“So where have I gone wrong?”
“You have not gone wrong Jane, its just that we are not going anywhere in this relationship”
“Graham, I gave everything in this relationship, I gave up promotion opportunities,hobbies, you
name it”. Tears were now in her eyes, there was also a pause. She thought about the holiday
in Spain she had booked for them both.
“Jane we have both tried, but I find it hard now.” He did not want to say it, but before he could
even think about it, Jane asked bluntly “Is there someone else?”
“Well, to be honest, Jane, myself and Maureen, I did want to tell you but…”
“And how long has this been going on?”
“About six months, I think, I am very very..sor..”
“You bastard, you have been saying you were going to guitar lessons, but you were ….”
She banged the phone hard and cried ,everything that came her way was thrown in all
directions, be it a vase, be it an unwashed coffee mug, or even a cushion. Until her eyes
came to a framed picture of her and Graham. She smashed her fist hard on it. The glass
shattered. Her hand started to bleed.
This thirty one year old cried like a child, no friends, and now, no lover. She looked
in the mirror. Her blonde hair was a complete mess. She tried to hide her bleeding hand behind
her back. She convinced herself she was ugly. It had to be that, what else could it be she
thought? Okay fair enough, she was’nt fat, she had a good figure. She then started to think
that she was’nt ugly after all, it must be her personality. Friends lasted for short durations then
ebbed away, boyfriends did not last much either, but it lasted with Graham the longest, for
almost two years, then bang.
She woke up in the morning, huddled on the settee, hugging the very cushion she
threw last night, her hand hurt a bit, but stopped bleeding. She found the dried blood
revolting. She quickly ran to the bathroom , washed and nursed it. She did not even look
in the mirror, she stripped off completely and was about to shower when the doorbell rang.
It was the postman, wanting a signature no doubt. She did not bother covering up. She
simply said “Morning”
“Oh sorry, it was just a signed….oh my gg.” The middle aged man could not believe his eyes.
“Thank you” she said matter of factly, unperturbed.
She then shut the door and smiled. Why did she do that she thought? Your ego you little cow,
she said to herself. The man’s look told here she was not ugly. She looked at herself in the
mirror now, she now admired her naked body. She was on a high, and was going to get
ready, cancel that holiday for a start then take it from there.
She explained to the young girl at the travel agent why she had to cancel the
holiday, there was no way she could go.
“I am very sorry madam, but our policy states cancelled holidays are not refundable
unless there is a bereavement or illness.”
Tears were about to swell in her eyes, she muffled out a very faint “Please”.
The young girl held her hand, and whispered to her to perhaps go with a friend?
She lifted her handbag, nodded and left. What friend you stupid little cow? She thought
as she walked in the street.
She phoned her parents that evening to let them know. But that conversation was not
worth the call. They both indireclty blamed her. They said Graham was the nicest of all her
boyfriends, and she can’t keep doing this. She argued like hell with them, until she slammed
the phone hard,again. Twice in 24 hours. She did not tell them that she was going to offer
them both a holiday in Spain. She wondered what it would be like going on her own. Maybe it
would do her good, get away from this crap. She had booked her leave already at work, her
passport was ready, she had shopped too. A tear left one of her beautiful blue eyes. It was’nt
until she felt it on her cheek she realised she was crying again. She wiped her cheek and got
up. She cooked, ate ,watched TV, cleaned and dusted, but completely naked.
When she arrived in Spain, she loved the sunshine almost instantly. Her hotel was
secluded, yet within reach of the town, easy access to shops and restaurants. That was
useless, because for the nine days she stayed in her hotel room.