Please Punish Me


Please punish me” she whispered as she looked through his pictures on her phone. She closed her eyes and imagined being under his control. She desperately needed him, and with every breath, she wanted him. Life had been so cruel these last couple years and she had a hard time finding the happy, beautiful woman she used to be. Stress and loss and hurt had led to her self-destruction. Drugs and alcohol were on the verge of taking over her entire life and she knew this, and wanted him to save her from herself.

Night after night of guilt and sadness had brought her to this place of desperation. The need to be punished by him was so strong. Not by anyone else, but by him. There was something in him that she craved; like she’d known him forever. Her ability to be completely open to her desires, and the level of his desires that she so easily understood, and connected with. Yet, at the same time he was a stranger to her. She wanted to feel every part of him, inside and out. She wanted more than he could ever give her, and she knew that, so she tried to fight her feelings. Her moral obligations kept her grounded, and she fought the thought of him daily. Sometimes she even got angry at him for even meeting her at all. It was so beautiful, yet so cruel.

She can never have him. He had an effect on her like no other. When he spoke, she wanted to obey his every command. When he wanted her, she desperately wanted to be right there with him, pleasing his every need and when she hurt him, or herself, she wanted every ounce of his painful, yet healing correction.