Ordeal

One of the ways that Lotus controls me is through my phone. Apart from monitoring me, she can text me at any time to give instructions or to remind me of her power over me. In practice Lotus does not text me when I am supposed to be working but she always knows my schedule so she knows when I am on lunch and she knows what time I finish.

It was 4pm on a Friday and I left college in the official student uniform of tight jeans, black T shirt and backpack. I was looking forward to getting home and having a shower and some nice time with Lotus when my phone pinged. I stopped and read the text which was very brief.

“Get in the white van”.

Just ahead of me was a white van parked beside the pavement with a man smoking a cigarette beside the side door. I suddenly felt a very creepy feeling: to have sent the text at exactly the right time, Lotus must be watching me and I had not seen her. I resisted the temptation to look around, took a deep breath and walked towards the van.

I was about to get into a van with people I had never seen before and with no idea of what was going to happen. Lotus and myself only had a safe word at the very start of our relationship and I had never dared to use it because Lotus had given me a promise that, if I did use the safe word, she would immediately stop what she was doing to me AND NEVER DO ANYTHING KINKY TO ME EVER AGAIN. She knew that I could not bear that thought. Very soon the safe word was withdrawn because the relationship depends on trust. If I have the power to make Lotus stop doing something that means that I am the one with ultimate control and that is not the dynamic which we have. It is essential that I have complete trust in Lotus that she will never make me do anything which will take me too far beyond my safe limits. I depend upon her to know me well enough to stretch me just an inch beyond what I think I can bear and no further.

So, I climbed into the sliding side door of the van and immediately, a man in the back of the van pulled some sort of cloth bag over my head at the same time as the door slammed shut behind me.