Only One Road – chapter 16

– XVI –


Now


When I woke up it was still raining outside. I could hear the raindrops attacking my window. Dylan was still asleep so I got up as quietly as I could and went to the bathroom. Today is November thirtieth, I thought after I was done with my shower. The day Wes died eight years ago. The thought didn’t make me feel anything. It used to though. Every time I would think of him or Billy, it would send guilt waves all over me. But now I felt absolutely nothing.

I didn’t hear Dylan walk into the bathroom but I felt his presence. I turned around, towel on my wet hair. Sure enough, there he was. Just standing by the door, leaning on the wall, his eyes almost dreamy.

“Let’s move somewhere”, he said and I blinked.

“Where?” I threw the towel on the floor.

He shrugged.

“Somewhere nobody knows us.”

“You mean, somewhere you didn’t kill or disfigured anyone yet?” I hemmed.

“Yeah”, he smiled. “Places like that exist, you know.”

“I would hope so”, I nodded and reached for my toothpaste. “Mexico?”

“No”, he said seriously. “I like States. Somewhere warm. I hate rain.”

“I do too”, I agreed and spat the toothpaste out of my mouth. “Arizona is warm.”

“Too warm”, he grimaced. “I am thinking Florida.”

“Too many old people”, I sighed.

“Nevada?”

I rolled my eyes and wiped my mouth with the hand towel.

“In the desert? I don’t think so.”

He laughed and folded his arms in his chest.

“On the other hand”, he said. “I don’t care where we live.”

“Me neither”, I sighed and looked at him. “So what, it’s gonna be our happily ever after?”

“Yeah”, he smiled again. “Don’t see why not…”

“Uh huh”, I nodded. “It will stay that way until you kill someone else. And then what?”

“I won’t”, he said softly. “That’s a promise. Unless you’ll want me to…”

“Very unlikely”, I muttered.

He sighed and gave me a small shrug.

“I do have self-control”, he said very seriously. “I know it’s hard to believe but it’s the truth.”

I narrowed my eyes at him thoughtfully.

“How many… Incidents… Did you have after I left?”

“A couple”, he said carefully. “No fatalities though. That was the reason you left, the whole “crazy side” of me… So I figured that if I can’t get rid of it, I might at least try controlling it, you know?”

“Right”, I nodded. “Let’s make coffee.”

“Connor…” he grabbed my arm when I was brushing past him. “I was serious when I said I will never let you leave me again. I know that it makes me sound like a complete nut and I don’t care. But if you will ever try leaving me…” he shrugged. “I’ll probably go on a murderous rampage.”

“And you said you are not a psycho”, I muttered and ran my fingers through his hair.

“I suppose I am a psycho when it comes to you”, he said softly.

“Yeah, you are”, I sighed and pressed my forehead against his. “You are an obsessed, possessive, psychotic character… And I guess I am a sick one too because instead of freaking me out, this whole thing is turning me on… That’s not normal, you know…”

“There was never anything normal about us”, he smiled and stroked my face with his fingers. “I’d like to keep it that way…”

“Me too”, I muttered and kissed him without worrying too much about his ribs. He’ll heal.

…“There is something that’s been bugging me for a while now”, I said an hour or so later, my breath somewhere in-between normal and shaky.

“Mmmm?” Dylan asked without opening his eyes.

“When I left… On that day… I was looking for you in the airport. But I didn’t see you… Were you there?”

He opened his eyes and looked at me.

“My whole world was collapsing”, he said quietly. “Of course I was there. I didn’t want you to see me. I didn’t think I could handle that…”

“Damn…” I muttered. “Dylan, I was looking for you… I made a deal with myself that morning… If I see you in the airport, I’m not going anywhere…”

He stared at me silently.

“I was hoping to see you”, I said and looked at him.

“I didn’t know that”, he muttered finally.

“Of course you didn’t”, I whispered.

“Damn…” he said and closed his eyes again.