Fbailey story number 289

This story is based on a true news report, however I made up everything in it. This is purely fictional. The actual Associated Press release is at the end of the story.


Nude Bartending


My car broke down in a small hick town in a rural area called Delhi, Illinois. As I quickly found out they pronounce it Dell-ee rather than Dell-hi. Go figure! The attendant at the local repair shop told me that I would have to stay in town until he got the parts sent in from Saint Louis. It was only a thirty mile trip but he said that it would take a day or two. Terrific!

To top it off the only place to stay within walking distance was over the local bar, a place called Cabin Tavern. What could I do? I told him to order the parts, called my office to tell them what the story was, and walked down the street.

If I hadn’t been so pissed off I would have realized right away what a nice friendly community it was. In a way it reminded my of Mayberry from the old Andy Griffith show. All it needed was Aunt Bea and Don Knotts to make it official.

When I got to Cabin Tavern the bartender just said ‘hello there’ and slid a room key down the bar to me. I was impressed when she said the guy fixing my car had called ahead to let her know that I was coming. Must be she didn’t get too many strangers in there.

I took my suitcase up to my room and came back down. I asked about getting something to eat and she told me that she could fix a few things right there and pointed to a menu board at the end of the bar. Hamburgers, hotdogs, and a couple of sandwiches were about it. So I ordered a double cheeseburger, fries, and a beer to wash it all down. I got the beer first and then she went out back. I looked around and there was no one else in the place.

When my food was ready she got me another beer too. As I ate my meal we talked. She was Janet Brannon, she was thirty-three years old, and she had one son in the local elementary school. She also told me that they had approximately a hundred students in the Delhi Elementary School with seven regular education teachers, one per grade level, Pre-K through fifth grade with special teachers providing art, music, and physical education. She sounded like a real estate agent trying to get me to move there.

When I finished my meal another guy came in to get a drink.