his suv pulled up in the drive, right on time. hopping in the passenger seat, i leaned over giving him a shy peck on the cheek, then folded my hands in my lap and looked anywhere but at him. all the bells & whistles on the dash, the few specks of dirt on the floor mat, out the window… anywhere but at T. i was just feeling too unsteady, too unsure of myself to speak. shocking i know, but when i don’t know what to say, i choose to say nothing. call me standoffish. oh, wait… i’ve been called that before.

so we talked. okay, well he talked… until i finally opened up with my concerns and fears and all my neurosis that goes along with it. by the time i was done, i was wringing my hands so much i’m surprised i had skin left on them. he assured me that he was okay, that we were okay, but apparently, i still needed some more reassurance so that i would be okay.

and so he took the turn that had us heading to his ranch. what would be more comforting than spending time with T and horses? not a whole lot in my book and i could feel myself becoming giddy about the opportunity to ride together. this was definitely going to be just what the doctor ordered.

exiting the vehicle, T opened my door and escorted me into the office/viewing room of the arena. excusing himself for a moment, he left the room and i was left to wander, looking at all the photos on the wall. then through the viewing room windows, i watched the arena lights buzz on one at a time until the 70’x140’ area became fully lit.

with purposeful strides, he came back in the room, taking my face in his hands he kissed me gently and asked, “Ready?”

i nodded and he pulled a pink paisley bandana from his back pocket. what the hell??? pink??? oh ick… i hate pink… he knows i hate pink… i can’t stand the color. “Strip pet, but leave your socks & boots on.”

uh.. what??? confused i looked at him, “um… but… i thought we were going to ride?”

“I would have assumed after all this you would have learned that you think too much… now strip.”

i slowly removed my clothes. not in an effort to be sexy but because i was hoping he’d change his mind while i lingered. it wasn’t meant to be unfortunately. when i was nude, aside from what was on my feet, he tied the pink bandana around my neck.

“Very cute.”

hating the fact that i felt bashful, overexposed and utterly ridiculous looking in this get-up, i grimaced as he took my hand and led me into the arena.

“Now pet, apparently you have felt neglected which leads you to these strange notions that I don’t care. Unfortunately, I have to finish up a few things, but I want to reassure you that you are always thought of.”

i cringed, feeling very stupid for being so over-emotional lately and what was about to come.

“So, I have about an hour worth of work to complete here. if you’re physically occupied, then mentally you will not have cause to wander off into la-la land.” *have i mentioned how much i’m beginning to hate that term* “I want you to walk the rail” (that’s the outer edge of the arena, next to the wall for you non-horse people) “A half hour in one direction, then the second half hour in the other.”

at first i felt a monstrous tide of anger, but managed to stifle it as he walked back into the office.