nightmares

it all started when my daughter got hit by a car on her 7th birthday.. she was rideing her new bike around that me and her mother got her.. when a drunk driver came out of nowhere and smashed into her.. she went flying about 30 feet into the air and landed in our naighbors lawn.. the drunk driver took off and ended up smashing his car into a tree taking the next corner off our street.. me and aprils mother saw the whole thing happen.. we ran over to april, she was alive but uncossionus.. her head was bleeding and her arm looked broken.. we got her to the hospital and there hse stayed for about a month.. her arm was broken..her head was going to be fine, phiscally but mentally she sauffered a rare form of amnisea.. every morning or after sleeping 5 or more hours.. her memory goes back to the day before the accident.. every morning she wakes up and thinks its the day b4 her birthday.. aprils mother was crushed with this news.. basically we would have a daughter who would stay 7 years old mentally for the rest of her life. the doctors told us there was little chance of a reversal of this..

the day home from the hospital me and trish ( aprils mother) talked about how we would deal with our daughter the next morning . we needed a break from telling her the truth.. we had been explaing to her every day in the hostpital what had happend.. some days she would understand, some days not and flip out that she missed her bday, or tell us we were lieing, or just cry. it was very frustrating.. for both of us.. my wife had a harder time dealing with it than i did.. we agreed on lieing to april and pretending nothing had happend.. it went well, april thought she was turning 7 the next day.. she liked that we told her she could skip school.. she asked if she could see her friends.. we told her not today.. we didnt want any outside influence to mess up the day.. .. so we just watched tv and laughed together and all was good.. me and my wife decided to do this again the next day and so we did.. we went on with the lie for about a week.. i didnt mind the pretending, my wife did.. we argued about it.. and it all turned to crap after we got the money from the settlement from the drunk driver who hit april.. my wife and I both started drinking alittle more.. i was out of work.. and my wife ended up quiting her job.. the settlement money would last us a long time.. so everything was pretty much fine.. till one day my wife told me she was leaving me.. that was a shocker.. she told me she didnt want to live with a 7 year old her how life.. she packed up her things and didnt even say goodbye to her daughter.. she said to me that she woudlent remember anyways.. and than she was gone..

my story pretty much begins on the first day after my wife left me and my daughter..

“daddy wake up!! daddyyyyy.. .. daddyyy wakkke uppp” i heard my daughter next to me in the my bed.,” wheres mommy daddy.. i’m hungry….””
i was hung over and pretty angry at my wife leaving and everything just flooded my head all at once.. and i yelled at april.. something i hardly ever did..
aprilll!! go to your room!!! nooww! i shouted..
april jumped back fast and gave me a sad face and ran out of my room, down the hall and into her room.. i heard the door close..about a min later i felt really bad for yelling at my little girl.. i got up and walked to her room and knocked on her door. she didnt anwser me, but i heard her crying inside her room, so i opend the door and walked in, april was on her bed in her pink pajamas with her head under the pillow.. i sat down next to her and rubbed her back
i’m sorry honey.. i didnt mean it.. i dont feel good baby..”i said to her.. i thought for a sec and said” heyy how about you take a day off of school and we can just hang out all day and watch movies? april moved the pillow away and looked at me..
really daddy? can I? wheres mommy? she said..

” umm shes at work sweetheart.. she wont be home all day, so its just you and me.. i’m going to go take a shower.. get up and get yourself some breakfast and after we can see whats on tv.. ok?i said.. she looked at me for a sec.. i looked at her cute face.., her jet black hair falling messily in her face.. her eyes alittle glossy from crying..she reminded me of her mother.. little pouty lips.. pale complexion..
Ok daddy”” she said to me. i told her ok.. and got up and went to the bathroom to wash up.. i felt much better after my shower.. i went to the kitchen and april was eating a bowl of cereal..