To: Harry Potter
From: Lord Voldemort
Re: Robes

What will it take to get you to pull those robes off the market, Potter?
WHAT IS YOUR PRICE?

– Voldemort

To: Fred & George Weasley
From: Albus Dumbledore / Headmaster
Re: Moldiemort Robes
Mssrs. Weasley:

Could I request an additional three hundred units of your most excellent robes? Please send the invoice to The Registrar, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. I will need the robes in the following sizes:

Small – 50 units
Medium – 150 units
Large – 100 units

Thank you kindly,
Albus Dumbledore

To: Albus Dumbledore / Headmaster
From: Gred & Forge
Re: Re: Moldiemort Robes
Sir,

In as much as we would like to take credit for the ingenious robes, I’m afraid that they are not of our product line. Our traitorous little sister has formed a most unholy and evil alliance with the Boy-Who-Mocked-Voldemort.

We will, of course, forward your request to the Evil Duo.

Regards,

Little Gred & Forge Weasley

To: Albus Dumbledore / Headmaster
From: Ginny Weasley
Re: Re: Re: Moldiemort Robes
Professor! What a most excellent name for the robes! In discussing with my CEW, we would be most happy to donate the 300 units to your cause.

Ginny Weasley
President, Moldiemort Inc
A new division of Potter Enterprises Worldwide

To: Moldiemort
From: Harry Potter
BCC: Ginny Weasley
Re: The Robes
You want the Moldiemort Robes off sale? Swear allegiance to me as your Lord and Master and serve as my left hand and we’ll see.

– HP
Chief Executive Wizard, Moldiemort Inc
A new division of Potter Enterprises Worldwide

To: Harry Potter
From: Ginny Weasley
Re: Re: The Robes
WHAT? You’re going to make him your Left Hand?!

To: Ginny Weasley
From: Harry Potter
Re: Re: Re: The Robes
I’m right-handed, Gin.

CEW, Moldiemort Inc.
A new division of Potter Enterprises Worldwide

To: Harry Potter
From: Ginny Weasley
Re: Re: Re: Re: The Robes
Oh. blush Good point.

To: Harry Potter
From: Ron Weasley
Re: Things
Harry… first off, I’m trying very hard not to flip out. I’m given to understand from my “belittled” brothers that you and Ginny are teaming in a business affair. Okay, let’s be honest, I take EVERYTHING those two say with a firm twist of salt. You and Ginny? Teaming? AFFAIR?

What the hell’s going on? If you and my baby sister are… you know… I’m going to kill you!

– Ron

To: Ron Weasley
From: Harry Potter
Re: Re: Things
You git!

We’ve talked about this before! I sleep in the bloody same DORM as you. Why are you Mmailing me about all this?

– HP

I mocked Voldemort
Ask me how!

To: Harry Potter
From: Ron Weasley
Re: Re: Re: Things
Because I don’t want to punch your bloody eyes out if you’ve not snogged my sister. And what do you mean YOU mocked You-Know-Who?

To: Ron Weasley
From: Harry Potter
Re: Re: Re: Re: Things
Excuse me, but it’s MY innocence you should be worried for. YOUR sister is a dangerous woman. Please note, she founded a very large (unauthorized) fan club, she proposed and found ways and people to prepare a calendar with images from the bloody game against Slytherin.