On the first day of Christmas, I handed my true love a piece of paper with the heading, divorce decree!

On the second day of Christmas, I gave my true love two black eyes and a bloody nose to go along with that divorce decree. Why, because he called me a lazy ass bitch, adding the divorce was my fault. I’m usually not a violent person honest.

On the third day of Christmas, I told my true love, three curse words in French words. He still had two black eyes, and the divorce decree!

On the fourth day of Christmas, I told my true love, oh hell, why am I calling him my true love, because he isn’t! So I told him off, using four naughty words, to go with the three French words. In addition, his two eyes are still discolored and swollen. He deserves everything he gets because of the divorce decree!

On the fifth day of Christmas, I told my true love, I’d maxed out our five credit cards. I’d went shopping to cheer myself up, because I felt sorry for calling him those four naughty words, not to mention the three French ones, adding that his two eyes look better! Oh hell people, you do not know what I went through before I served him that damn divorce decree!

On the sixth day of Christmas, I looked at my true love and felt aroused sexually. After all we still slept in the same bed together, and I could not resist his half naked body at six in the morning. So I convinced him to make love for old time sake. Oh, I was nice and polite too, I didn’t mention the five credit card bills, those four naughty words, or the three dirty French ones. I did tell him his two black eyes looked better, and had second thoughts about the divorce decree, until he told me I looked like I was putting on too much weight.