My College Drinking Cure

by Larry Malone (Copyright 2016)

I was never much of a drinker, but by the time I was a sophomore in college and a member of a national fraternity, that all changed. For awhile I was drinking so much it almost became a second college major for me, but in a way my fraternity provided me with a unique and unexpected cure.

It was during “rush week” when all the fraternities held open house parties to impress and recruit new members, that my drinking got out of hand and got the better of me. At our open house, as all other houses, all the fraternity brothers were expected to help with hosting duties during the party as well as help with the recruitment process by working the room and really making those students we wanted to join our house to feel especially welcomed.

On the day our house rush party started I missed the pre-party meeting since I was a classroom test-proctor and arrived late. I missed all the briefing announcements, strategies, etc. By the time I arrived, the party was in full swing and we had a fantastic turnout. I was able to get most of the briefing information I needed to work the room and targeted students but no one mentioned the critical item that our usual Sangria wine punch in the library was generously spiked with pure lab alcohol. The announcement I missed was a cautionary one to drink it sparingly but make sure we were generous with it with our future pledges and guests.

As I dove in and performed my hosting duties, I drank the punch as if it was our usual mild wine and fruit concoction. I was chug-a-lugging plastic cup after plastic cup every time I passed the punch bowl. That was my big mistake. After an hour or so, I vaguely remember my upper lip growing numb, my speech getting slurred, then nothing else. I woke up nude, face down on a bed, in a dark room. As I lay there attempting to bring clarity to the situation and the darkness surrounding me I had a throbbing headache, an unforgiving urge to piss as well as real pain in my asshole. My face felt completely numb and I was face down in a puddle of drool.

I painfully attempted to sit up. I remember holding my head with both hands in an attempt to stop the room from spinning and got comforting flashes of fuzzy recognition that I was in my own room at the frat house. I staggered to my bathroom holding on to anything that was solid, leaned against the wall and in the dark pissed in the general direction of the toilet bowl. As I stood there pissing, I felt something cool dribble down the back of my thighs and down the inside of my legs. My cloudy brain couldn’t figure out how I could be pissing a stream in front of me with my limp cock in my hand and still do what I thought I was doing, pissing down my leg.

Slowly I remove my hand from the wall that I was using to stand fairly upright and felt the trickle on the back of my legs; it was cool and sticky. I turned on the painfully blinding bathroom light for a better look.