It’s been about four years since i left Erin and Chris’s house. I have a beautiful daughter named Ana Lee and she is my life. We moved to Korea and we live in a small light blue house, with a white fence, flowers in the yard, and a dog named Harang. Ana goes to a school with a small number of kids so it’s hard to make friends. Her best friend is the dog. In a neighborhood with mostly little girls of full Korean parents. Ana is Korean and Vietnamese. We somewhat stick out like a sore thumb. Until today Ana has never asked about her father. ” mommy?” she said. I was in the kitchen making dinner. For years i have feared this day. ” mom who’s my father?”

” why do you ask?”
” Rebecca Caring at school said my father hates me”
” well Ana your father doesn’t know you so how can he hate you?”
” i don’t know”
” don’t worry about it. You’ll meet him someday” i said as i kissed her on the forehead. I don’t know if she’ll ever meet him.


Everyday Ana becomes more curious about her father. Even at the grocery store she’ll go up to an Asian man and ask ” are you my daddy?”. It’s quite funny. One October tweths we were shopping for groceries again and Ana was being her usual self. She asked a man that (she describes to this day) who stood as tall as a tree, with black hair, and green eyes. He smiled at her and said “where’s your mommy little girl? I don’t think you should be alone in this store”. Ana led the man over to my cart with a big smile. ” Mommy! I think he’s the one!” she yelled. I looked over to see who she brought over. Ana was really excited. I could never forger his eyes. Chris was standing next to Ana who seemed to be a spitting image of him. ” Chris ” i said as i grabbed Ana and ran out of the store.

The drive home Ana didn’t speak to me. She just sat in the back and looked like a sad little puppy. ” mianhae” ( I’m sorry *Korean*) i said as tears begin to flood my eyes. She still sat there silently. I know I messed up her only chances of meeting him “araso” ( i understand) i said leaving her alone.