Monica, what can I say about her; she’s my good friend, a constant companion, and my long term crush. She also happens to be gorgeous and full of energy, being a geek and dancer she has a unique blend of down to earth along with an unabashed fit body. She’s around 5’6′” or something not skinny with soft baby fat over hard muscles from her dancing and exercises. She has dark thick hair which she kept short around shoulder length, her eyes are hazel, and her lips are so luscious and full always in a smile or laugh. Her raw and oft times crude sense of humor always with the sexual undertone makes her a thrill to talk with. As I mentioned she was always with me as a ‘friend’, one of the only girls I allowed to keep me in the friend-zone willingly. I think I was just content with what I had, possibly I was too afraid to ever try for more. That was when we were in our 20s. That was before she met ‘that’ guy, the one that she eventually married and had kids with, the one I never really gave my blessings too. Of course I wouldn’t, not with my underlying motives and sexual desires clouding my friendship.

I eventually stop trying and we drifted apart. This wasn’t a surprise as these type of friendship often ends up this way and I ‘was’ a willing participant in it. During the decade following I dated and slept around but I always seemed to be comparing them to Monica. Small things I would nitpick and dismantle from my relationships; those that got that far. More often than not I settled into my brutally honest persona and slept with women I tell honestly that I am just after a good fuck. It’s a little jarring that some of these women would take ‘I just want to sleep with you’ and translate that into ‘save me with love’. NO. On a side note I knew that some women love the challenge of trying to change a man but honestly, just stop.
After thirteen years of this one day I happen to receive a text message from an unknown number.

(Unknown number) Hey Scott? This is my new number. Not sure if this is you.

(Me) Umm hi, who is this?

(Unknown number) It’s Monica, it’s been a while but Hi!

I am dazed at the name, all that time of trying to live my own life and now all of a sudden I feel like I might hurl from my anxiety from one text message. I quickly grew angry at myself for being so weak against her. I thought to myself ‘I’m the conqueror of pussies old and young, ugly and hot, I can deal with an old friend right?!?’ As it turns out I couldn’t so I ignored it.

About a week go by, it’s Saturday now and I have stared at my phone every day since trying to make sense of my own feelings, I knew I could easily enter her life again and it will be just as it was before but worst because I would have to constantly be reminded that someone else is enjoying that body. But I was deathly curious and I hate not knowing and regretting so I picked up the phone and brought up her chat:

(Me) Hey, I’m sorry for not responding I was busy with work.

(Monica) For a week? (before I could respond)

(Monica) Haha anyways what are you up too? Are you busy? Wanna grab lunch today?

(Me) Umm sure I’m free. Want to meet at that Bistro on Fifth near the coffee shop?

(Monica)The new Italian one? OK give me about two hours? I can’t wait to see you!

As I put the phone down I knew I couldn’t escape this urging inside of me. It was excitement and trepidation roiling all through me. I couldn’t help but think of her last statement ‘can’t wait to see you’. I oddly found myself smiling as I went about taking a shower and getting ready. I decided to dress my age and brought out my most stylist blazer, jeans, plain white dress shirt, and boots. I was out the door in an hour, I figured I get coffee and calm my nerves a little.

She was late about thirty minutes but as I watched her walk up in front of the Bistro from my coffee shop vantage point I nearly forgot everything I have been mulling over for the hour I waited. She was wearing black leggings with knee high black boots with a white top that definitely showed her shapely mother figure. I don’t say that in a bad way at all, I can tell she kept up her work out even after her pregnancy because she was full figured but tone in a way only a person who moved around a lot can be. Her once small A cup breast were at least a couple cup sizes larger (thank goodness for breastfeeding). Her hair was long and wavy and came down to her ass which at the moment was facing towards me, it looked soft and perky in her tight leggings. I was getting a hard on just looking at her.

I went out to meet her and as I was approaching from behind I couldn’t help but feel anxious and worried. Worried that I would torment myself again with fantasies of her to the point that I would rather be alone if I couldn’t be with her. This feeling kept getting stronger up until the point she turned around with her energetic smile and embrace. She smelled so good being this close, like field of Lavenders. She was so soft and warm as she held me, melding into my arms perfectly as if we were two parts of a mold. “Hey handsome!” she exclaimed happily.

Before I could help myself I blurted out “Holy shit you look amazing!” I saw her register what I said in shock than her face soften and slowly she began to blush a little as she held me at arm’s length. My eyes leering all over her body. I felt helpless and a little greasy but I couldn’t help myself, she was gorgeous! Her already curvy body gained definition and swell, I didn’t realize how dramatically until I was up next to her.

“Thanks, you are looking great yourself!” She responded with big eyes and a big smile. I wanted nothing more than to grab her and kiss her deeply.

“Let’s go grab a table and catch up.” I suddenly felt relaxed. I had a revelation as I stood watching her while waiting for a table; I realized I have never truly been honest with her about my feelings and that in turn reflected on how I acted towards her. After we were apart and I began my methodical honest heartbreaking I was brutally honest with all those girls. I swore to myself as we were seated that I would be honest with her no matter the cost.

As we ate we caught up on our lives. She has two kids and has been a housewife and mom. She said she misses me and that she’s glad that we could catch up because she was moving to New York. Apparently her husband got a promotion and will have to work in NY, he and the kids are already there settling in while she finishes some things here and will be flying in a couple days. Needless to say I was somewhat disappointed in hearing this but at the same time I realize she is alone at the moment without having immediate responsibilities. She loves her children and I knew I couldn’t compete with them with her time. I began to plot my move, I needed her to know exactly how much she makes me crazy with lust and love.

As we were finishing up I asked if she had any pressing business left today. She responded with a huge smile and told me she did not and that I should keep her company as she is alone and misses her family. I responded with “of course I will keep you company, just treat me like a substitute anything…..anything you need.” I’m not sure if she caught on to my implications as she just smirked and said ‘ok’.

After lunch we went and got coffee and then to the movies. We caught a early slot for a romance comedy. I didn’t really pay attention as I kept looking at her and trying to keep my hands from touching her.