Learning Beauty

I can’t remember how old I was when I first learned what sex was. I do remember I was about to enter 3rd grade when I saw my first dirty magazine. I had found it on a shelf in my uncle’s bathroom. It wasn’t the first time I’d seen a pair of breasts or a penis. I’d seen my mother’s many times before when she would change in front of me, and when I was very young, I used to take baths with my father, so I’d seen his penis many times. Eventually the bathing together stopped after I hit a certain age. For the record, no, my father never acted inappropriately towards me and shower times were always innocent.


I was not really surprised to see the acts pictured in my uncle’s magazine, somehow it seemed familiar to me. My first time seeing dirty pictures yet I had already ‘discovered’ myself- many times. Looking back on it now, I can’t remember the first time I pleasured myself , or how I came to know that if I touched my little button it would feel good. At times when I had to sleep on the floor, I would hump the carpet while my brother slept on the couch no more than two feet away from me. Once, I fingered myself while he slept next to me in the twin sized bed we shared briefly after having moved into a new home.


I was always in a hurry to lose my virginity but I was a very shy girl growing up. Some people might say I was too young when I finally did lose it at 13, but if you ask me I would have loved to have lost it much sooner. That’s a reason I feel you shouldn’t always claim a guy took advantage of a young girl because I still remember what I was like back then, some of us are just dirty girls, no different than horny boys at that age. Dirty girls that have no regrets of their sexual choices. From the time I became sexually active till the day I graduated high school I had on average one boy per year, I can honestly say that had I been more outgoing I would have slept with any boy at school.