Late Three
By Systematic

It was around nine or ten when the maid barged in. It wasn’t the maid I’d been expecting, and it really wasn’t how I wanted to start the day.

“I’m back,” she said, standing in my doorway, hands on her hips, grinning. Or I assumed that was what she was doing. I hadn’t opened my eyes yet.

“Yes,” I said. “You are.” Was I decent? I was, more or less. The sheets were twisted, but I could feel that they were covering me from the waist down. That was something. “Thanks.” I waved a hand, eyes still closed.

“Don’t be so cold,” she said, sounding huffy. “It’s been a whole month.”

Yes, and hadn’t that month gone by quickly? I opened my eyes and sat up. I call her Red, even though there’s nothing red on her. Her maid uniform is very dark blue, and her hair is black and short. I think of her as Red because she gets on my nerves, and I once literally saw red when her pestering got to a boiling point. She only comes up to about my shoulder, but she makes enough noise for someone much bigger.

“Is Sandy up yet?”

“He’s already gone.”

“What?” That annoyed me. We never had gotten around to those video games that had been the point of this sleepover. I looked at the clock and scowled.

“So did you miss me?”

I glared at her. She left and closed the door behind her, but she’d be back. I’d messed up. I’d really messed up. I got out of bed, took a shower, and got dressed. Then I sent Sandy a text that we still had games to play. Then I sent him another one to clarify that I meant video games.

I had a little time on my hands, so I sat down at my desk to see how I was doing against Celestial Eros Oracle. I took the time to skim the story she’d posted the night before, grudgingly gave it a good rating, and thought about how I was going to beat her decisively. I was still in the lead, but it wasn’t a convincing lead. I had to do better.

The door opened and Red came back in with my breakfast on a tray. She put it down, but didn’t leave. I didn’t acknowledge her, I just let her hover there over my shoulder as I checked email and read news. She cleared her throat a couple of times. I took a bite of eggs and ignored her.

“I masturbated yesterday,” she said. I choked, and she pounded me on the back.

“Did you?” I said, gasping. I took a drink of coffee. I didn’t want to be angry in the morning. It couldn’t be healthy to get annoyed before noon.

“Don’t you want to know more? Aren’t you curious?”

“Not really.”

“I was thinking about you.”

“That’s flattering.”

“I’m serious. And I did it on the airplane.”

That got my attention. I turned to look at her. “Now you’re talking. Really?”

She nodded, smiling, and trying not to blush. I was conflicted. “All right,” I said at last, and picked up my notepad.