Lamentations of a PSO

I mean, I do this for a living, you know? Don’t get me wrong, it can be fun, in fact, it’s mostly fun. But there are some days, and some callers, who drive you absolutely crazy.

I understand fetishes, hell that’s my job, and I’m damned good at it, if I do say so myself. But for Christ’s sake, there are just some things I can’t do. Which brings me to this dilemma. I’ve got this one caller, he seems nice enough, he’s a regular and he’s been calling a while. But he’s got this obsession I just can’t help him with.

I know what you’re thinking. All I can say is get your mind out of the dregs of the gutter. It’s not like that. Crap, I tell people all the time I won’t talk about something, either because it’s illegal, my employer doesn’t allow it (hello, this is my job, you know paychecks and hours and all that bullshit, even though I work at home), or I find it revolting. This isn’t like that. I’d do it if I could find a way to do it right, but the exact technology isn’t available anywhere I can find, anyway, and God knows I’ve looked.

Let me tell you what I’m looking for, maybe you know something. An app, I’m looking for an app for my smartphone that I can use to unlock a padlock remotely. That’s all.