King Dong: A Monster Movie Parody Act 3

ACT III

“Do you see anything? The fog is a good sign, right?” Anne asked.

“The sonar shows we’re close to something, alright,” Anglerod confirmed.

“And it’s the island we’re looking for? How can we tell?” said Anne.

“The mountain that looks like an erect cock and balls,” Karl said.

“Oh, that’s right, I remember you mentioned that,” Anne replied.

“Here’s the shore. You can hear the waves breaking,” Anglerod observed.

“Wait, those aren’t breakers. It’s drums,” Jack realized.

Karl said, “You’re right. Maybe they saw us and are trying to guide us in. Look there, the fog is starting to clear up.” As the ship slowed to a stop and dropped anchor, they could see the stone phallus towering over the wall that hid much of the island from view. “Do you believe me now? There it is, just like the map promised. Now let’s go ashore.”

“I’ll let you take twelve of my men along,” Anglerod granted.

“And you too, Captain. I expect we’ll need you to translate for us,” Karl said.

“I’m coming too, right?” Anne asked.

“Damn straight,” said Karl.

“Shouldn’t she stay behind until we know what we’re dealing with?” Jack suggested.

“Not a chance. Experience has taught me to have my cast and my camera by my side at all times, ready to shoot if a good opportunity presents itself,” Karl insisted.

“You really want to risk—”

“It’s my film, Jack. Go help the men load up some guns and gas bombs. Anne, bring some of your costumes along in case you need to strip out of something sexy.”

– – –

Once they pulled the launch boats ashore, they started in towards the village, following the sound of the drums. Finding the village abandoned, they continued on towards the wall. “Look at it! It’s gigantic!” Karl said, excited.

“Amazing!” Anne agreed.

“Even taller than that one in China,” Anglerod said.

“I knew it! This is going to be fantastic! Beyond belief!” Karl said.

As they approached the wall, they could finally see the villagers, engaged in some type of festival or ceremony with ritual dancing and pounding of drums. Suddenly a chant began, the primitive people chanting in unison, “Dongu! Dongu! Dongu!” Anne was standing next to Jack and reflexively grabbed his arm and moved her body against his. The accompanying sailors looked distinctly like they’d much rather be back on the ship. Karl moved closer, waving at the others to follow.

“What are we walking into here?” Anne wondered.

Some heathen bullshit, who the fuck knows,” Jack sneered. “Stay close to me. You would have been safer staying on the ship.” There was worry in his voice, but also a tent in his pants as Anne’s breasts pressed against his arm..

“And miss all this excitement?” Anne said with a smile.

Karl led them in behind the old-fashioned minka houses and peaked around the corner at the ceremony.