I had been waiting on this package forever. I ordered it a good three weeks ago, and had started
to wonder if it had been lost in the mail. The
FEDex man handed me the package, gave me a,
“Have a good day,” with a smile, and left me
standing in the door. “Yes, and you, too.” I almost wondering if he had any idea what was in my package. At any rate, I closed the door behind me and looked at my purchase. It had been an internal battle; I was twenty-two years old, a college student, in a good relationship with my boyfriend, Justin, and I was still a virgin. To make matters worse, I had never masturbated in my life. When I was younger, I used to put the ball of my ankle under my foot and rock back and forth, but it was just play. I had no sexual sensations from it; it was just something to do to pass the time.

Justin had gone out to eat with some friends of his after class. I was home by myself when the box came. I took it to the kitchen table, grabbing a knife on my way over, and carefully tore into the package. A few tissues flew up, a few boards, and there it was; my brand new vibrator, the same one that Amy swore by. She was the one who suggested I try this in the first place. A very sexually-experienced person, if you know what I mean, dragged it out of me in the back of our class one day that I was an all-around virgin. She said, “There’s no shame in trying it, Lacy! Here,” and she wrote something down on a piece of paper next to her. “Go to this website,” she pointed to the link she had written out, “and then get this.” The Beginner’s Pleasure Plus. Sure, Amy. I was embarrassed that we were even having the conversation, considering how I was raised. My father was the deacon of our church, and my mother taught Sunday school. God forbid they
ever found out what I was doing. I took my new toy out of its careful packaging, and caressed it curiously. It was smooth, made of rubber, with little “ticklers” at the end. It looked like a clothes hanger. I wasn’t even sure, at first, how to use it.