Joe & Friends Episode 3_Freya and Joe Fuck Things Up: things get revealed at Mardi Gras

Freya and Joe Fuck Things Up: things get revealed at Mardi Gras (MF, rom, exhib, “disfigured”, cheat, booze, oral, creampie)

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Unlike Part #2, this does lean heavily on Cancer Free For 62 months (but almost nothing in Part two is important, not even that Professor Sabin and Professora Jackson were lovers).


PS: I would love comments on this story, but spammers have abused the anonymous comments privilege. PM me comments, please.

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Freya got a feel for how much gas Joe’s hybrid burned and when mardi gras rolled around. They snuck off together. Freya called her parents to say “I won’t be on campus, but I’ll have my cel with me.” She was inside the gas station’s convenience store handing over her parents credit card so he could fill up his nearly empty gas tank when she said this. She didn’t own a car anymore, she owned a motorbike. “Joe and I are taking Joe’s car and I’m spotting the first tank of gas. When you look at the statement, that’ll be the 7 to 10 gallons of gas on the card today… the same station I tank up about half the time at.” She hung up and climbed in before Joe. Freya had a first cousin Joanna, with whom she never got along (but they pretended to at family gatherings). Joanna attended the same college Freya did (her cousin wanted to be an elementary school teacher which all but assured them they’d have no classes together). Freya’s first roommate, and almost lesbian experience, was Josephine (both women she’d referred to as ‘Jo’ at least once.

She talked to her mother some about Joe, but always called him Josephus (his full first name) to differentiate him from her ex-roomie and first cousin. Freya’s mother, Reynalda, was a homophobe. They arrived at the hotel without incident in the afternoon. They weren’t hungry yet, so they went to the room, stripped naked and kissed, not noticing the open curtains at first. When Freya did, she covered her breast and breast-void and told Joe to close the curtains. Joe complied, then opened her legs.

He began his muff dive. He lapped at her pussy and pressed his lips as close to her clit as he dared as he issued a tuneless hum. She ran fingers through his curly hairs (the brown ones coming out of his scalp) as she moaned, “Fucking good hummer.”

“Freya… I’ve been curious about something.”

“What?… why say it like that?”

“You’ll probably say Fuck no.”

“Try me.”

“I want to eat you until you’re just wet enough to fuck, then fuck you till I leave a huge wad of cum and finally clean your pussy out.”

“What Summer’s Eve or something?”

“No, a little something I like doing called cunlingus.”

“You want to cum in my pussy, then eat your own cum… that’s so narcissistic. Not tonight. Wait at least a month until you ask me again? Come, let me kiss you.”

She didn’t let him lick or fuck her. She shivered in disgust. Joe felt humiliated and utterly rejected. At first blush, to Freya, this made him seem self-important and narcissistic. She disliked tasting herself and couldn’t imagine anyone with a different attitude. She now wondered if he was her best friend because he was ‘a girl’s best friend’ (No, not diamonds and not cats or dogs, but the kind of man who really loves his fellow men). Joe felt utterly rejected, but when she cuddled him, he misperceived it as a goodbye hug.

Joe finally got up the courage to ask, “Are you breaking up with me?”

“I can never see a time when we’re not friends. Your last three sex requests have gotten progressively weirder. For anal I turned you down just because you’re too big or at least your cock is way to big to go up my asshole. Watching me pee and not wanting me to piss on you. Let me warm up to that. That last thing you asked… no fucking way. I can’t see how and no, don’t surprise me with going down on me after you cream in my pussy.” Joe thought they’d just broken up ‘friends’ is the kiss of death for a former lover. It was nice while it lasted, and at least he could still get help with liberal arts shit. He could never have gotten as good of a grade in art appreciation if she hadn’t helped him through it (Joe could do multivariable calculus in his head, flow chart 2000 lines of code in his head but didn’t have his mind wired to pass art appreciation — In Joe’s estimation, this was the most fucked up thing about his mind).

Truth be known, she knew in her heart she’d keep him, but she was too disgusted with today’s request to say anything. They walked to a small restaurant in the quarter. Then they went to a club for drinks. Joe and Freya each had a key to their room. A girl named Jezebel, bullshit she was a woman about one and three-quarters times his age (31 years), started buying Joe drinks. Freya watched this, she was pissed but lacked the courage to challenge him publicly. Joe seemed willing but Jezebel asked, “Who’d you walk in with, Joe?”

“Freya… wonderful friend of mine. We just broke up, we took each other’s virginity. She’s… I’d have failed the art course I took had she not helped me.” The art course was the art appreciation course and knew too many people found it simple to mention which art course.

Freya saw the conversation and got more jealous, but saw a gorgeous man get slapped by a woman followed by a full draft bear dumped in his lap followed the beermug being spiked at his groin, a quick pivot of his lower body left him with a huge, deep bruise forming on his thigh (which was better than the ruptured testicle that would have happened had the woman hit her target). Freya made her move. “I know some men like it when a woman leaves them with a big amount of wetness on their groin, but maybe not this way. I’m Freya.”

“Hank.” He was surprised.

“So, I presume you might honestly call it a learning experience of sorts.”

“I’m not sure.”

“What’d you learn?”

“That she wasn’t going to fuck me an hour after meeting me.”

She sighed, “Look, I want to make my semi-ex boyfriend there jealous.”

“Okay… What if it backfires?”

“One way or another I need a lay.” Freya kissed Hank with tongue. Hank got to taste some liquor on her kiss.

“How many drinks have you had?”

She thought… “Three, a huge glass of Sprite, just now. I before had an ice tea from New York and local specialty… hurricane. I made sure the tea was decaf because I really don’t need caffeine this late at night, y’know?”

“The iced tea… was it a Long Island iced tea?”

“That’s the shit!” She practically shouted. Her voice was quieter but still practically echoed through the small bar, “I gotta tinkle… B.R.B.” She staggered off to the men’s room. From the bathroom she shouted, “One of us is in the wrong toilet.”

A man replied, “You are, but if you wanna use the urinal… I’ll hold you up.”

“T’ank’s for the offer, but I’ll in the other toilet.” She walked out of the men’s room and into the women’s room.

Joe shook his head. After she exited, she said, “Fuck off.” to Joe’s face quietly as she passed.

Hank asked, “See anything you like?”

“I must be really fucked… I walk into the men’s room and I don’t see dick, not even a shrunken head dick.” She said too loud. She whispered, “Babe, I really need a dick preferably a thick one 15 to 20 cm.”

“How long’s that?”

“15 to 20 cm.”

“Show me with your hands.”

She held her hands apart some random distance less than a foot apart. “I can’t… too drunk… not easily… a 30 cm dick is a foot long sausage.”

“So, a half to two-thirds… 6 to 8 inches, okay. I may give you a little lagniappe on the long end.”

“Not too much… A friend got me a 9 inch dildo that really hurt when I shoved it in all the way.”

“Do you any limits, do you want me to use a rubber? Any sex acts your really don’t want?” Hank believed he was somewhere between 0.069% and 0.075% blood alcohol — not drunk in his home state but damn close. Because he was as experienced drinker as he was and his last two drinks were root beer. He was closer 0.05%.

“There’s only two things: don’t stick anything up my ass, not even a stinky finger or any other kind of finger for that matter. Other thing.” She paused long enough to be a full sentence, “Have you ever heard about someone cumming in a girl’s cunt then do a muff dive?”

“Yes, I’ve done that, actually.”

“Don’t! Not with me… disgusting.”

“Let’s walk. My room or yours?”

“Mine. Corner of…” She spoke the corner nearest her hotel. Her hotel wasn’t on a corner, but it was close to the corner she said. Just after they passed the doorman, “We’re looking for…” she spoke the correct name for her hotel. “It’s near here, I feel it in my cunt.”

Hank asked the doorman quietly, “Is this the…[hotel name omitted].” The doorman nodded. Hank gave him 5 bucks and said, “Keep up the good work.”

Freya was pissed and horny… and drunk. Freya said, “I’m messy and I am not putting a beer soaked cock in any hole.”

“Let’s shower together.”

“Okay. Do you want to get naked, first?”

“Sure, do you?”

“Might as well.” Freya was falling down drunk (her blood alcohol was beyond 11 grams per liter). She fell on her ass when she tried to take off her shoes. She stayed seated and asked for help undressing.

Naked, Hank genuflected before her and helped her undress. She was very shy about taking her top off and Hank talked to her in sweet, nonjudgmental tones. He talked her right out of her titsling. Hank was much more surprised than shocked at seeing one tit missing. Freya burst into tears. Hank begged forgiveness.

“I never saw a mastectomy before and it surprised me.”

“Disgusted you, you mean!”

“It surprised me.” He wasn’t sure if he should lie, but decided he should focus on the surprise aspect.

“I look as good as if I had two breasteses?”

He wasn’t going to say ‘no’, he wasn’t sure if he could lie convincingly, “You are beautiful as you are. Still want that shower?”

“Yes.”

Let’s shower.

As soon as they are under the water, Joe unlocked the door. Jezebel Frenched Joe before the door slammed. “Key… grab the key please.”

“Where?”

“Check the door.”

She opened the door and pulled it out, “Got it.”

“Good, on the TV please… the key I mean.”

“Okay.” Jezebel went to wash her hands. “There’s someone in the shower.”

“Don’t worry about them.” He jumped back to another subject in disbelief, “Are you serious… you are willing to let me do that?”

“I’ve begged guys to do that to me, but I had to get a nearly gay bi-friend drunk to get that. I can’t believe she broke up with you over that.”

“I’d be willing to do it sober.”

“Where do you live?”

“On campus…” He rattled off his university’s initials plus city and state it was in.

“Oh… Let’s get naked.” She was sober enough to legally drive just about anywhere but Sweden. They’re naked quickly. Joe was technically sober enough to drive his car in the French Quarter without getting a DUI, but he never tasted alcohol before, beside he’d rather ride this Jezebel than his car right now.

“Jezebel, yours are the first in tact pair of naked tits I’ve ever laid hands on.” He gently caressed her C-cups.”

“You’ve not touched you’re friends tits?”

“Tit. She’s survived cancer and endured a mastectomy. She’s still pissed and self-conscious about it. I’m sure that factored in our break up somehow, but I know my curiosity and desire to experiment alienated her. If you’ll allow me, let’s see how wet you are… ooh, nice.”

“You’re not fully hard yet.”

“I don’t know why he’s a slow riser, tonight.