One day in Germany in 1939, some German Nazi Krauts were looking for some hot frauleins to get down with before they blitzkrieged across Poland.

“I want a blond haired blue eyed fraulein to suck on my manly wiener schnitzel before it is the time for some blitzkrieg-ing over there in Poland.” said Dieter to his friend Klaus.

“You got that right, mein mensch!” replied Klaus, “Now that it is world war two and soon Germany will sign the Tripartite pact forming a military alliance with Italy and Japan, I too would like a blond haired blue eyed fraulein to service me in such a way as to give me manly pleasure. Soon we will be one of the Axis Powers and we will have some serious seig heiling to do! It was not always this way!”

Soon in Pensacola Florida it was 2009, some fat chicks were angry because they had not achieved their manifest destiny. They were fat loud oily bitches, and they all wanted food.

“I want a burrito, God damn it” yelled fat oily Julie.

Each of the fat chicks drove their SUVs to an Mexican eatery and got bean burritos. They hadn’t even finished the bean burritos before they were all farting fat ass farts and discharging huge amounts of fatty methane, a greenhouse gas, into the air. Soon the average temperature of the earth’s near surface air and oceans increased, maybe because of the increase in anthropogenic greenhouse gas concentrations including the aforementioned fatty methane.

The fat loud oily chicks didn’t even care about the global warming that their fat farty methane had caused. Their only concern had to do with the discomfort the global warming had caused them. It was not always this way.



Meanwhile at an apartment in Cleveland, a California blond named Donna was slurping a guy named Richard’s seed squirter. Richard’s knob sack smelled cheesy and tasted like dank bile, salt and yeast. Donna slurped Richard’s dong as he pulled her ass cheeks so far apart that her sheriff’s badge became gaping fudge tunnel. When Richard did this, he was hit by a huge warm blast of dank fart. It smelled like something had crawled up Donna’s ass and died.

The shock of the fragrance snapped Richard head around. Forgetting Donna and her flatulence, Richard thanked Jesus for his Salvation Army BB flat contrabass trombone. Richard had always marveled at the design of the spit valve on the Salvation Army BB flat contrabass trombone. The Salvation Army BB flat contrabass trombone has a double slide and spit collects in both tubes. The Salvation Army BB flat contrabass trombone has two spit valves, one for each tube. The two spit valves are operated by depressing a single lever! Richard had a Conn BB flat contrabass trombone as well, but that model only has one spit valve.