Jacq’s Adventure

Once in a faraway kingdom lived a widow and her daughter, like all widows in these stories she was very poor. So her daughter had to leave home at the age of sixte… erm I mean eighteen to make her fortune (relax, it’s just a joke).

She said to her mother, “I’m going to make my fortune and will return to bring us out of poverty. I don’t know how a lithe, beautiful, young woman willing to do anything for money will ever find employment but I shall travel off in to the world.”

Her mother worried and said to herself, “oh my poor Jacqueline,” for that was the daughter’s name, “I worry that she is so naïve, someone is bound to take advantage of her.”

Jacqueline left at sun up with only a small cake and a bit of roast duck. She walked through the early morning till the sun was getting overhead when she came across a swamp where an ass was slowly sinking into the muck and mire.

“Help!” The ass screeched at Jacq (her nickname, all these stories have a hero named Jack, or something like it) “Help me please!”

“Coming,” Jacq said, “good ass, and when I come I promise I’ll help you out”

After Jacq came over to the ass, she pushed rocks into the sludge and the ass eventually got a decent foothold and could escape from the swamp.

“Thank you,” said the ass, “I’m forever grateful.”

“You’re welcome. My name is Jacq.”

“Where are you off to Jacq?”

“I’m off to make my fortune in the wide world. You can come along with me if you like.” Jacq replied.

“I’d really like that, you saved my life. As far as I am concerned I’m your ass.” The ass said.

“Well I’ve always heard that everyone has at least one friend who is really an ass.”

Jacq stepped back to take a long look at her ass, and she saw that it was very dirty.

“We need to get you cleaned up.” They exited the swamp and went to a clear pool where Jacq washed her ass. As her ass got clean she saw it was actually a very pretty ass. She thought maybe could’ve been a little bit smaller but overall she thought it looked pretty good. She splashed and frolicked about; playing with her ass till it was nearly lunchtime. Realizing the day was getting away from her she got out of the pool and continued on her journey with her ass right behind her.

They went through a village and Jacq saw a crowd of boys chasing after a dog throwing sticks and rocks at it.

“Stop it!” Jacq hollered. “Leave it alone.”

The dog hid behind Jacqueline’s ass and the boys didn’t dare mess with such an ass as that. Jacq kept yelling until the miscreant boys buggered off.

“There now, poor thing. You’re safe now.”

“Thank you kindly miss, I’m in your debt.”

“You are welcome to join us we are off to seek our fortunes. We like the company and I can see you already like my ass. I’m Jacqueline.”

“A pleasure to meet you and your lovely ass Jacqueline, I am at your service.”

“Just call me Jacq.”

They left the village before the wicked boys could return and stopped on the road to eat a late lunch. Jacq ate a piece of cake and fed some of the duck to the dog; the ass found some soft thistles to eat.

They heard a rustling in bushes and out of it slunk a cat that looked tired and hungry. It gave a heartbreaking cry at the smell of the duck.

“Why Puss you look starved come have a bit of this duck, we don’t mind sharing.”

“I am much obliged miss. I don’t know how much longer I could’ve gone without food.” The cat stripped the meat from the bone and the marrow as well; then started to look healthier. “I am forever in your debt miss. Where, may I ask are you off to?”

“We are off to seek our fortunes and you are welcome to join us, if you’d like to.”

“I would be glad to; my last mistress kicked me out of the house for eating too much lamb from her table. You seem kind enough though, I’d be honored to be your cat.”

“You can eat what you like, we won’t starve,” said Jacq.

“So,” the dog spoke, “you’re a pussy that likes being stuffed with meat.”

The cat nodded.

Jacq said, “I’ll do whatever I can to keep my pretty pussy filled with as much as she could want. When there is no food about I’ll play with my pussy so it won’t feel neglected.”

The dog chuckled but didn’t explain to the others when they gave him a confused look.

The party set off with Jacq’s pussy out in front, followed by Jacq and her ass right behind. The dog looked at them a moment shook his head, shrugged, and set off to lope alongside Jacqueline.

Evening was beginning and the travelers were walking along the forest trail. They heard a noise in the underbrush and a fox jumped up trying to run with a large black rooster in its mouth. The sneaky thief had stolen it from some from some farm yard.

The party saw him though, the ass brayed, the dog and cat chased at the fox adding their own howls. The fox was so startled by this reception it dropped its prize and dove back into the bushes.

The dog sniffed at the bird and told Jacq that he thought it was still alive. The cat licked the wounded creature and Jacq petted its head.

Soon the bird opened its eyes and sat up. The party cheered and introduced themselves to the rooster.

“I am the great big black cock and am very happy you saved me from certain death. Where are you going to and may I join you?”

Jacq assured him, “You never know when you’ll need a big cock.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” the dog said to no one in particular.

The cock rose but was still too weak from being nearly swallowed to walk.

“Here dear cock ride up on my ass you’ll be very comfortable and my ass won’t mind.”

The ass nodded. The dog rolled its eyes. Jacq picked up the big black cock put it on top of her ass and let it ride happily. Unfortunately it was almost nightfall with no town nearby, they travelled on until it became too dark and lay down beside the road. The cat seeing perfectly well in the dark scampered up a tree to look around.

“Hark friends,” the cat exclaimed. “There is a house further into the woods with candles glowing in it. Let us seek our lodging there.”

Jacq and the others rose and followed the cat up to the house’s window where they heard raucous singing and cursing.

They overheard parts of the discussion and at first Jacq thought they must be animal lovers because they kept talking about their prize cocks and finding a good ass or some pussy. Then, however, they exposed themselves… as thieves that had stolen the gold of the lord of the region.

Jacq knew they weren’t good men at all. She put her finger to her lips to signal for her companion’s silence.

They peeked through the window to see inside and saw several robbers at the table eating pheasant and roast pork and drinking whiskey punch, and wine straight from the bottle all while surrounded by stolen gold, cutlasses and blunderbusses.