harry_05_(0)

Chapter 1 – A Letter from a Friend
It had been a month since Sirius’ death and Harry was still as remorseful as ever. He still cannot overcome his guilt about what happened to his godfather. He blamed his ineptitude in Occlumency and hero complex as what his friends called him before. If he had not been foolish enough, he would have realized that there is still an Order member in the school, although he couldn’t blame himself enough for that. He still didn’t trust Snape and that might be the reason why it did not occur to him to ask for his assistance. Besides, he knew that Snape detests his godfather and would probably just ignore his plea.
However, if he had really taken his Occlumency lessons seriously, Voldemort would not have been able to manipulate his thoughts. It was fault…why was he so stupid! Now, his stupidity and recklessness caused his godfather’s life and he could never forgive himself for that…. With that final remorseful thought, Harry eventually fell sleep, taking with him a guilt so great that Voldemort was once again able to penetrate his mind.
“Potter, once again you fell into my trap! How can you even dare hope to defeat me, the greatest wizard of all time, with your pathetic attempt at magic? I assure you that more of your friends shall die and you would never be able to stop me from conquering the world that is rightfully mine!” Voldemort’s laughter echoed in his ears and his scar bled almost mercilessly.
Harry was forced awake by that recurring nightmare. It had been his constant dream since Sirius died. Sometimes, he wished that he wouldn’t need to sleep anymore. He tried to stay awake the whole night but after almost a week, his body gave up on him. He could not fight his sleepiness anymore. He even wished that the Dursleys would still give him a hard time just so he could think of something else aside from brooding about what happened in the Department of Mysteries last month.
But no, true to his word, his Uncle Vernon struggled with himself not to give him a hard time. The whole family, even Dudley, did not require him to do household chores anymore. They didn’t pick on him anymore and it had been so silent since he arrived that he almost wished for them to return to their normal behavior so he could feel some sort of normalcy in his life. It was so pathetic. He felt so desperate and powerless. So unlike the wonder wizard boy that everyone in the magical world imagined him to be. How they would laugh or be scared if they saw their “savior” moping around the house with nothing to do and with nothing that he could do to finally fulfill the prophecy that everyone expected him to accomplish in the soonest possible time.
He gazed at his window again, hoping for even a measly scribble from his friends at Hogwarts. A month had passed but no one had written him with even a single hello.
“Maybe they are also angry at me because of what happened….maybe they hate me now…maybe they don’t want to have anything to do with me now….maybe….no, I should not be thinking this way…” He hastily chided himself…maybe they just can’t…but …
He was suddenly distracted by a minute owl flying towards his window…he felt excited…finally, a letter from his friends…He could not recognize the owl but who cares…finally someone cared enough to owl him.
Dear Harry,
How are you? I have been trying to write you a letter since the end of last term but I can’t seem to find the right words. I know most people think that I am a little bit off but I am fairly sure that you are not one of them.
I meant what I said before…our loved ones are just behind the veil….We heard them..we just can’t see them but maybe later we will find a way…
Wouldn’t it be wonderful if one from Hogwarts will be able to solve that mystery? My mom, she worked for the Department of Mysteries before you know, said that they have been trying to solve that particular mystery for a very long time but no one came close yet…for all we know, Hermione will be able to solve it in the future….She’s so bright. Do you like her?
Oh, it seems that I’m rambling again…I am so lonely here. Father is away somewhere and I don’t have anyone to talk to. No one writes to me…I sure hope you will find some time to reply.
Love,
Luna
Luna?!? Harry stared at the letter in shock. Luna, the one who everyone teases as Loony, owled him while his so-called friends couldn’t even find a way or time to write a simple hello to him. He shook his head in amazement and frustration as he got up to get his quill and a small bit of parchment to reply to her letter. At least someone cared…although he was a little curious about why she asked him if he likes Hermione and why she wrote “love” at the end of the letter but maybe he was thinking too much…
Dear Luna,
Hello! Thank you for writing…I know we have not been able to talk much before but I really appreciate your letter. Like you, I have nothing to do here too. The others are too busy doing something but I’m stuck here. I’m feeling quite useless actually. All I do was read the same thing over and over again. I’m really glad you owled me.
About your letter, actually I am not so sure yet about that veil but maybe…maybe you are right. I am quite confused right now. I think Hermione is really intelligent and she might work it out someday if she believes it is something worth solving. She’s a great friend actually but I don’t like her in that way. She’s one of my bestfriends. Why do you ask by the way?
Classes is approaching. Would you like to go with us to buy school supplies at Diagon Alley? I have not gotten the letter from Hogwarts yet but maybe it will arrive soon…
Your friend,
Harry
‘There’, he thought, ‘someone feels as empty as me…at least someone understands…I hope she replies soon…’
Harry sat on his bed gazing at the window, watching as his owl, Hedwig, flies away to its destination. For the first time that summer, a flicker of a smile crossed his lips. And for the first time, his dreams had been as boring as his real life…
The next day, Harry got up, made his bed, ate a hearty breakfast and proceeded to his room to wait for Luna’s reply… If she was as bored as she said she was, she would have a reply for him today. True enough, the minute owl, which he now recognized as Luna’s owl, came rushing to his window and flew directly to him. Harry excitedly extricated the parchment from the owl’s lap and led it to Hedwig’s cage to quench its thirst. He almost ripped the paper in his haste.
Hi Harry,
Wow, that was quick! I was not really expecting a reply so soon…well actually, I was not really expecting you to reply. But I’m so glad you did. Did you just invite me to meet you at Diagon Alley? I would love to! Thank you very much.
By the way, Father has informed that he won’t be coming back. I’m not sure what happened and I don’t know what he meant by that. I’m really worried. This is the first time that my father was away so long. Do you think he found some Crumple Horned Snorkacks in his journey and was too busy to come back? If that’s the case, then I would perfectly understand. Those creatures are very interesting and father probably decided to stay there to learn more about them.
I’m lonely though. I don’t have anyone here with me and the gnomes etc…are driving me crazy. But I know Father will get me after he is finished with everything he wants to do there. We will celebrate Christmas together. It will be a happy reunion and I can finally prove that Crumple Horned Snorcacks do exist.
You know, I have read from a muggle book that people can still communicate with those from other dimensions through a medium. Is it true? I wanted to talk to mom but I can’t seem to find the correct potion or incantation for me to be able to do that. Father should publish something about that in the Quibbler someday, what do you think? Speaking of the Quibbler, I think our magazine is having some problems with the wizard printing press. No issue has been released for almost a month now.
Father told me not to worry about it but I miss solving the crossword and without that, life is so much more dreary in this place.
I wish you are doing better there. Don’t you worry. Time flies so fast anyway….hope to see you soon!
Love,
Luna
‘Something is wrong’, thought Harry, as he stared at the parchment.
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Chapter 2 – A Chat with Aunt Petunia
Harry stared hard at the parchment wishing he knows what’s going on. Something was definitely not right! Even the Daily Prophet didn’t send him newspapers anymore. He stopped writing to his so-called friends after sending several letters without any reply. He was inclined to think that all has been a dream if not for Luna’s letter and all the books of enchantments sprawled on his bedroom…
Then suddenly, it came to him. Why not take a leaf from Hermione’s book and try to learn a few advanced spells himself…… something like apparition…or maybe something else…Surely, the Ministry is still monitoring him and will dispatch wizards if they catch any sign of magic in Privet Drive. WIth that thought, Harry proceeded to his new productive escape from boredom.
If he could master apparition then maybe he could go to the Burrow, Grimmauld Place or Hogwarts and find things out for himself. He could just imagine Luna being scared but putting a tough front all the same. He must find a way to help her.
How to Apparate:
You must empty your mind except for the place you want to appear to. Picture it clearly on your mind and summon your power from within to let your body dissolve into atoms and travel at lightning speed to that particular place. Remember to imagine your whole self traveling so as not to leave anything behind.
For beginners, one must point their wands to their chest and utter “Apparato and wherever you want to go” clearly. This is a very advanced spell and one must be very careful in attempting this. As the wizard becomes more proficient with this spell, the requirements will be lesser. Soon, just mere thought of the spell will bring you to wherever you want to go.
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‘Hey, this seems easy enough’ thought Harry. ‘Kind of like Occlumency’. He practiced for almost an hour until he got the hang of it. Soon he was apparating to any part of the Dursley’s house with his wand. It never even crossed his mind that other wizards would not have been able to do that within an hour.
Dear Luna,
Don’t worry too much. I think your father has a good reason for not coming back. Maybe he really was able to encounter some Crumple Horned Snorkacks and ….
Harry’s line of thought was suddenly distracted by the sound of owls coming to Privet Drive. ‘Finally!’ he thought….but no, the owls did not go to his window as usual. He did some quick thinking. The only person in the house aside from him is Aunt Petunia. If the letters were not for him, then maybe it was for her. Without stopping to get his wand, he immediately apparated to the kitchen where he found Aunt Petunia nervously reading the parchments.
“Aunt Petunia, who are those letters from?” He decided to approach her nicely since he doesn’t want to risk her getting all nervous and refuse to answer his questions again like she did last year when Dumbledore sent her a howler.
“Umm….ahh….I can’t tell you…I swore to keep….oh, what am I saying? Vernon will be mad at me and Dudley…” said Petunia awkwardly, desperately trying to hide her nervousness as she hid the letter in the pocket of her dress.
“Please, can you please tell me? Uncle Vernon and Dudley are not here. They don’t need to know that you have been talking to me about …. you – know?” Harry fumbled for the correct words to soothe her nerves. At her emotional state, she might go off without telling him anything if he didn’t choose his words carefully.
Aunt Petunia took several deep breathes and busied herself with washing the dishes before she looked at her nephew again. But what she said took him completely by surprise.
“I was a witch, Harry.”
“What?!? Excuse me?” He must have heard wrong. There’s no way that her Aunt is a witch. She hates them.
As if reading his mind, she made two cups of coffee and motioned for him to sit down on the table with her. She looked at the window as if remembering some very unpleasant memories.
“I said I was a witch, Harry. Just like your mother. “Was” not “is”. I don’t hate her as much as I said I do. It is more like my sense of self-preservation taking over. I enjoyed being able to do magic once….until something happened…” At this point, Aunt Petunia gazed nervously at the door and seemed to hesitate before she continued. Harry looked at her expectantly but did not press her.
“Do you remember my reaction to Dementors when they attacked you and Dudley last year?”
Harry recalled the situation very well. He was not only anxious and irritated that time but also insanely curious as to why her aunt remembered that bit of information about the wizarding world after several years of ignoring their existence. He nodded patiently and encouraged her to go on.
“Dementors attacked our house during the reign of Voldemort and has taken the whole family except for Lily who was at the wizard hospital that time. They brought us to Azkaban along with some other wizards. I didn’t understand it the time. I was so young and hadn’t even went to Hogwarts yet. I thought only the death-eaters attack and kill people but that was my first time to encounter dementors. But it turned out that the dementors kept us there to for food. They extracted all our happy thoughts and drained all the magic within us.
Soon, the prisoners were dying one by one until only a few remained. We were rescued eventually but it was too late. The survivors were reduced to being muggles and were forced to live a muggle life from then onwards. Of course, our memories were modified except for our parents because they still had Lily to consider. Mine was lifted when Lily and James were murdered by Voldemort and I had to take care of you. That’s why I was so bitter. You reminded me of the life I once loved but was forced to leave. I also misdirected my anger to Lily. Why did she survive when all of us did not?” Aunt Petunia gritted her teeth to control the tears that are currently flowing on her cheeks.
Harry was dumbfounded for a moment. He didn’t know what to say. How come nobody told him about what happened to his aunt. But it was a long time ago, perhaps nobody really remembers that his aunt was once a witch. Surely, Dumbledore would know but…how come he did not tell him? Several thoughts are flowing through his mind right now but couldn’t quite articulate his thoughts. He just sat there and looked at her aunt in wonder.
Sirius said before that dementors really had that draining effect on wizards and only strong ones can hold on to their powers and sanity for a long period of time. His aunt was still young that time. She was not that strong yet…but Sirius said that it is possible for the magical powers to return after some time.
“Hasn’t your magical powers returned yet?” He cautiously asked his aunt.
“No, it hasn’t. When Dumbledore lifted my memory charm, he said it will return after some tme. I was hopeful for a while but after several years of trying nothing has happened and I grew more bitter than ever.” she answered while still gazing hopelessly at the window as if waiting for something or someone.
“But surely, Dumbledore would….”
“Dumbledore stated quite clearly to me that there is nothing that he can do. Only I can make it reappear but I can’t.” she answered bitterly. She got up suddenly and motioned for him to come closer as if afraid that someone will hear what she has got to say.
“But he also hinted that if the boy-who-lived destroys the dementor’s leader then every witch and wizard who suffered in their hands will regain their powers and be able to help him defeat Voldemort. I assume it was you, Harry. Please don’t tell Vernon and Dudley but I really want my powers my back if only to be able to do something in this coming war. I hate being halpless. The dementors’ attack last year reminded me how powerless I am to stop them if they ever decide to capture all of us. Please help me.” she looked into Harry’s deep green eyes and did something that Harry never expected her to do before. She hugged him… like a mother embracing her favorite child.
“Do you have a wand?”
“What?”
“I asked if you have a wand. I figured if I have to try to regain your powers then maybe I should start with teaching you basic spells so that you know how to use them when the time comes…”
“Do I need one? Well, as far as I can remember, I used to do magic before without a wand. You yourself never used a wand before in some of the magics you performed. Remember when you managed to grow your hair back and the time when you made the glass in the zoo disappear. I knew it was you. I just chose not to say anything.” Aunt Petunia plainly looked bewildered at the mention of needing a wand for basic spells.
Harry looked confused for a while too…’Come to think of that. Dumbledore doesn’t always need a wand to perform some spells too…’ He looked at her aunt with a new found respect. She made him remember something that he just took for granted before. ‘Wandless magic….yeah, it’s possible’. He smiled at her aunt.
“Well, since we cannot go to Diagon Alley yet to buy you a wand, let’s try practicing wandless magic first. Wait for a while, I’ll just get my spell books.” Harry quickly apparated to his bedroom. He was already there when he realized that he just apparated without using his wand and without too much effort on his part.
He noticed his unfinished letter and tried to finish it as quickly as he can before apparating back to the kitchen.
Dear Luna,
Don’t worry too much. I think your father has a good reason for not coming back. Maybe he really was able to encounter some Crumple Horned Snorkacks and is probably too excited for words. Lots of things seem to be happening but I can’t figure out what yet.
Please do try to be careful there and owl me as soon as you find any unusual thing happening.
Your friend,
Harry
Chapter 3 – The Training Begins
“Now this spell is one of the basics. It’s for levitation, the incantation is ‘wingardium leviosa’. The wand movement is swish and flick then say the incantation clearly. Let me demonstrate it with a wand.” Harry carefully levitated one of the chairs to another part of the kitchen while his aunt watched like an eager freshman at Hogwarts.
“I’m not quite sure how to do it without a wand yet since I have no control yet over wandless magic. All those spells I did before were just done accidentally. I have no idea yet how to do them but at least learning the spells will be good for starters.” He smiled feeling like the session is just another meeting with the other members of Dumbledore’s Army or DA, the club they formed last year in defiance of the useless Defense Against the Darts lessons that Umbridge had subjected them to.
Aunt Petunia nodded enthusiastically while taking down notes. She plans to review and memorize them later. Then she looked at his nephew as if trying to recall something.
“Now here are other useful spells that we learned in school. “Accio” to summon things, “Rictusempra” to tickle someone, “Expelliarmus” to disarm your opponent, “Tarantallegra” to —” He was cut suddenly by sudden gasp from his aunt.
“Harry! I think I have just remembered something. Can you recall all those that you have done wandless magic? What were the conditions then?” She asked curiously.
“Umm….well, as far as I can remember, I usually do that when I am extremely agitated or very scared. Any extreme emotion actually. Why do you ask?”
Aunt Petunia looked nervous again as she tries to find something in her pockets. Harry observed his aunt carefully and the letter that she received a while ago crossed his mind again.
“Does this have anything to do with the letter I asked you about?” He was really tired of this secrecy thing but he knew he must be patient. Recklessness just caused him a lot of trouble before.
“The note was from Dumbledore.” She answered carefully while handing him the parchment. Harry hastened to read the short message-“IT IS TIME…”
“What does this mean?”
“It means that since it is your 16th birthday today, I must now tell you some things that we concealed from you. You need to know in order to prepare for the war properly. Much as I hate to admit it, you have to know the truth. I owe you so much for treating you like dirt, you don’t deserve it, and for saving my son’s life last summer.” She stood up and paced the room trying to organize her thoughts.
“It also means that things are going bad because Dumbledore or any other adult wizard is not present for this. It is up to me now to help you discover some of your hidden potentials.” She suddenly stopped and looked at him in the eye. “I need to help you develop wandless magic because any unarmed wizard is very vulnerable for attacks. Do you understand? It will be terribly difficult because I can only help you but I cannot show you.”
Harry saw tears flowing through her cheeks but he was too shock from numb to say or do anything… Things were that bad? What did she mean? Mind games was one thing but leading a very dangerous life without knowing what was going on was making his emotions reach its limit. Suddenly, the rage bottled inside him pushed towards the surface.
“Harry! HARRY!” His aunt shouted at him nervously as the cups on the table exploded with a loud bang and almost everything were moving as if a tremendous earthquake is causing it. Plates flew everywhere and the wind was so intense that it became very hard for Petunia to go near his nephew who looks as if he was in a trance. His whole body was emitting a golden glow that was very similar to what happened last summer when Vernon pressured him into answering his questions.
“WHAT IN RUDDY HELL IS GOING ON HERE?” Vernon hollered as he stepped into the living room and froze in his tracks as he noticed his nephew radiating all the enerqy that is wreaking havoc into the whole house.
“STOP THIS NONSENSE NOW, BOY! OR YOU WILL BE IN SERIOUS TROUBLE! GO TO YOUR ROOM! NOW!” He ventured and pretended to watch TV while stealing nervous glances at his nephew.
As quickly as it had come, Harry found his wits again and managed to put a stop to it. He grimaced as he surveyed the surroundings and found his aunt staring at him with an unfathomable expression. Ignoring his uncle’s presence, he immediately repaired the damaged he had done and apparated to his room where he found Hedwig waiting for him. He desperately searched for any sign of anything that he might have brought but there was none.
Hedwig nipped his palm apologetically as if terribly ashamed for not being able to bring him anything. Harry slumped to his bed in shock. It was his 16th birthday today and not a single soul cared enough to send him a single bloody note! Hell, even a simple ‘Hi’ will do just so he’d know they are still alive! ‘WHAT’S HAPPENING!!!’ his mind screamed in agony.
Throwing all caution to the wind, he rapidly got up and packed all his belongings. He had to know what’s going on outside. How could they expect him to fight back if he was blind to the current situation! God! Better die outside fighting evil than die here of anxiety. Just as he was getting ready to leave, the door swiftly flung open with his Aunt Petunia blocking his path.
“I can apparate you know.” He dismissed her attempt to stop him but his aunt grabbed him hastily and whispered furiously at him.
“Don’t you leave now! We still need to finish the lessons. You know that you need to prepare and without the others, you have no choice but to listen to me for now. You have the power but you cannot control it yet. Don’t you see? The amazing display of magic downstairs was great…but….that…..is……not…….enough! Tomorrow, after your uncle goes to work, we will resume. It is imperative that we do this before you do anything else. Understand?”
Harry nodded weakly. “Of course, you’re right.”
“YOU WILL HAVE NO FOOD TONIGHT, BOY! DON”T SHOW YOUR UGLY FACE IN THE LIVING ROOM AGAIN! DO YOU HEAR?” His aunt suddenly shouted at the top of her lungs while smiling at him knowingly. Harry smiled at her too realizing that it was just for his uncle’s benefit.
“That’s good, Petunia. That scum should be really taught a lesson. You know we should not have taken that low-life here. He’s causing too much trouble. What’s for dinner? And where’s Dudley?” Harry heard his uncle say to his aunt before he closed the door. He did not hear the reply but he doesn’t care.
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The next day’s lesson went quite smoothly. After what happened what happened the previous day, Petunia was able to explain about wandless magic better.
“As you probably have noticed, you are able to access your powers only when you are experiencing extreme emotions like anger and desperation. So, this is very similar to the ‘patronus charm’ you used to repel the dementors. Try to think of some event, thing or person that can heighten your emotions. You must focus on the positive feelings though, leave the negative ones to the evil wizards. Your magic will be stronger that way.”
The lessons went on without Vernon and Dudley finding out. By the end of the week, Harry had almost gotten the hang of wandless magic and Petunia has memorized the necessary incantations and wand movements although she cannot apply them yet. Even their relationship had gotten better. Harry could now call her ‘Aunt’ without feeling rebellious.
The nightmares had miraculously stopped although Harry was not sure if that was due to his increasing competence in Occlumency or he was just too exhausted to have time for nightmares. Even the pain had stopped.