Gift Wrapped for a Final Fuck

I woke up next morning with Chris spooned into my back and his arm across my waist as he continued to sleep. Surprisingly, even though his hips were pushed against mine I couldn’t feel any erection between us. Mind you, the wild sex we’d had an hour ago as the first dawn stirred us both to semi-wakefulness might have had something to do with that.

It was time for me to get up. Normally I’m an evening shower person. But since my last shower before the ball last night I’d enjoyed a night of intense dancing and four even more intense fucks – the one against the wall at the far end of the hotel in the middle of the ball, another when we’d returned to our room, one in the middle of the night and the aforementioned morning one. I sort of had a sense a morning shower might be a good start to the day today.

After breakfast today I was going to take advantage of the hotel’s heated hotel pool and gym to let me do some more training out of the freezing Canberra winter weather, so when I got out of the shower I put on the bikini I intended to wear in the pool. It wasn’t really what you would call training swimwear – but then most of mine wasn’t. Still, maybe this one was more egregious than most of mine.

Normally I just go for string tie triangle bikinis. These pants were different in that they were very low slung tight fitting hipsters with thin strappy fixed sides. Their other departure from my normal style was that they had a vertical centre seam; running from the front, down through the crutch and up the back with the lightly constructed material gathered in so that they moulded down into both my front and back crease. That’s not normally an advantage comfort wise with swimwear. But I’d bought these to wear under my legging/ compression pants when I was both running and swimming. Since my compression pants leave absolutely nothing to the imagination in the way they mould around my bum and front, if I’m going to wear anything underneath, these swimmers leave much less of a VPL than just about anything else.

The top was a matching string tie one. Regular readers will know I’m renowned for wearing rather brief – barely adequate – ones. “Small coverage” I think is what the manufactures describe them as; and that assumes you don’t buy a size smaller than you’re meant to. This top was in something of another league again. If I tied the under-breast string tightly into the base of my breast then the triangle would only just make it over the turn of the breast; leaving my nipple sitting right in the peak of the triangle and with some areola peeking out from the side. So you sort of had to tie it to sit in the centre of the breast; not quite firmly pinned down to any point.

Really it was straight off the cover of something like Zoo magazine and normally this was too much – or maybe more to the point, too little – even for me and not really suitable for swimming in anything other than still water. But Chris had been majorly turned on by it when I’d worn it once last summer and, given I was just doing pool laps, it was actually quite comfortable while I was swimming and I wanted to give him another thrill, I’d decided to give it a run this morning; especially as he was heading home tonight and this might be our last few moments together.

So just dressed in the bikini, I walked back out into the bedroom to find Chris now awake, lying naked and uncovered on the bed on his back and watching me.

Chris opened with a simple “Good morning”

I lay on top of him; straddling his legs with mine to have his cock immediately grow up between my legs and start pushing into my crutch. “Shouldn’t you be up by now?”

“I would have thought it’s pretty obvious to you that I am”

“So you can only think about sex?”

“Let’s see now. I’ve got a stunningly gorgeous, completely delightful, barely dressed woman lying on top of me with my cock between her legs. I think most guys in that situation would have their brains distracted by sexual topics.”

“So you’d like me to get off you so your brain can work properly would you?”

“I’m not in any hurry if you’re not.”

By now his arms were around me. While we were both clearly aroused there wasn’t really any sense this was going to turn into sex. We were reasonably fucked out at the moment; sexually satisfied if you want to put it more discreetly. It was more a moment of intimacy; maybe a final one.

There was a moment of hesitation in our banter.

Chris opened up again in a more serious voice. “Kate, I’ve loved spending time with you this weekend. You know the offer I made to you last summer is still open.”

It was tempting to play dumb; pretend I didn’t know what he was talking about. Not because I wanted to tease him. Because I didn’t want to admit to myself that the thought of that offer had been on my mind since I thrown my body at him about 36 hours ago. Actually if I was honest it was since I’d got his text announcing his intended presence in town a few weeks ago. It was the offer of a long distance relationship; of something more committed; even of acknowledging the budding love that added so much spice to our time together.

Part of me just wanted to say “yes, yes, let’s just give it a chance and go along for the ride”. But it wasn’t that easy. My past, specifically my parent’s divorce and its messy aftermath, gave me a phobia about committed relationships; a deep down unassailable fear of getting hurt if I opened my heart to love. Without intending to, I always sabotaged any path to real love if I let things drift in that direction, which then just resulted in a whole new world of hurt for both me and the innocent person unfortunate enough to be on the other side of the equation. And yet the happiness Greg and Karen found in each other gave me an incredible yearning to share that same sort of love.

Chris knew my problems; I’d opened my soul to him at the end of our time together at Christmas. He was understanding and willing to risk it, but I couldn’t.

Now things were even more complex. I was in the middle of first year med and was feeling the pressure to focus on my study. In the best of circumstances a long distance relationship is difficult; with the complexity of my study pressure and relationship issues I still reluctantly had to come to the conclusion it was impossible. If only I could somehow put Chris on hold; some sort of suspended animation until I got my act together where I could drag him out for the odd weekend like this while still being certain another girl wasn’t going to steal his heart out from under me before I was ready for him.

But life’s not that simple. Without admitting it, that’s what I’d been doing with Greg for many years and now he was gone and taken by someone else. Chris was too nice to last long. I was surprised he’d lasted this long; even jealous to think of the girls who might have had their claws in him since last Christmas – just dying to know about them. I’d be lucky if this wasn’t the last I saw of him.

“Oh Chris. It’s so tempting, you’re such a lovely guy and I’m so attracted to you, but I can’t. With the pressure I’m under at Uni I just couldn’t even start to make it work. It kills me to think that after I say goodbye to you today you might start seeing someone else and I’ll never see you again, but it would kill me more to start something and have it all fall apart.”

Chris detected a slight loss of emotional control on my part as I spoke.