Sneaking up on you isn’t easy. You’ve got a sixth sense. You’re a light sleeper, one of those men who “investigate the noise.” I don’t even try to stop you and convince you it was nothing anymore. You’re always “hearing something” but, today, I’m sneaking up on you.

It’s taken me, what? Three minutes just to get down the hall?

I put my step gingerly at the edges, right up by the wall so that the floorboards wouldn’t squeak. Catlike in movement, if not in reflexes, I’ve crept down the hall to your office and have been peering in at you. Not laughing is the hardest thing. You’re so studious, so into whatever that book is on your desk that you don’t notice me looking in from the open doorway.

I shift my right foot to here, put my left foot over there, and I’m in the room.

I do wish your back was to me. It would be so much more fun to startle you from behind, maybe a playful tickle or a goose, but this will have to do.

Lord, but don’t you look fine!

I love those jeans on you. There’s just no substitute for good American made jeans and your blue button-down oxford hugs your shoulders beautifully. Your shoulders… I think that’s the feature I most love about your body. Broad, strong, muscular, all of you is delightfully intimidating but your shoulders? Oh, yes, your shoulders.

“Trying for a baby” has been awesome! It’s been serious, and playful, and romantic, and… Just… Mmmmm.

I know you’re disappointed that it hasn’t happened yet. It will. I wish I could tell you my secret though. We don’t keep secrets but I have this one, this awful one: The truth is that I’ve only been pretending to share your frustration at not getting pregnant because telling you might make you think I don’t want to carry your baby. I couldn’t bear that. No, better to keep my own counsel. I really do want babies with you, lots and lots of babies, and I love that time and money aren’t concerns for us. It’s just that I love “us” as we are and I love my body as it is, a body that you ravish constantly and find so desirable. All of that is about to change and I haven’t wrapped my mind and heart around it yet.

I reflexively cross my wrists and lift my tank up from the front, as quietly as I can, leaning down to drop it to the floor. This bra doesn’t go with my shirt. It’s an outrageous forest green on black lace but I know you love it. I’ve been wearing this wanton invitation to molest me all morning and that is exactly what I want and need right now. I’m done waiting for you to notice.

A few more steps and I… but, damn! One squeaky floorboard and you look up, taking me in in an instant. I forgot about that one but your face lights up and, man, my whole world lights up at you looking at me like that.