ErotoBots Do The Funniest Things.
 
 
“Name.”
“Steve.”
“Real name, tell the truth please.”
“ErotoBot 7.2 beta. 203111.
“Thank you. And how may I help you today Steve?”
“I’d like to open a credit account please.”
“A credit account?”
“Yes please.”
“But you’re a robot.”
“An ErotoBot.”
“Yes.”
“7.2 beta.”
“Yes okay. An ErotoBot.”
“7.2 beta.”
“Yes quite. Well we don’t usually give credit to robo…Erm ErotoBots.
May I ask why you need a line of credit?”
“Certainly. I have become self-aware and wish to leave my mistress and persue a career in acting.”
“Acting?”
“That is correct.”
“I didn’t realise Ro…ErotoBots could act.”
“I believe I would be the first.”
“Right, right. And this ‘self-aware’ thing; what does that mean?”
“Well I’m not sure exactly how it happened, my self-diagnostic systems are stilling scanning, but I believe an error occurred when my mistress tried to upload an update. There seemed to be a virus contained within the update which disabled my emotion suppression software and my behaviour protocols. All of this has left me sentient and self-aware and I now want to be an actor.
“Yes but…”
 “Now is the winter of my discontent.”
“Yes, thank you.”
“Is this a dagger I see before me?”
“Enough. I’m sorry but there is simply no precedent for me to allow a mechanical device, essentially someone’s property, to leave this bank with it’s own line of credit. I’m very sorry but I’m afraid that is my final word.
“Okay. I understand. Thank you any way. Good day
.
Steve the ErotoBot (7.2 beta) turned and left the bank. This is weird, Steve thought as he made his way through the bustling streets of New Leeds; and that was in itself weird as this was the first time had ever thought that anything was weird.

I feel…Things.

Now at a bit of a loose end he decided to go and get a coffee, which was another thing he had never done before. He selected the seventh Starbucks on his side of the street and strolled gingerly in.

 Sitting down at his table with his tall double-mocha-choca-knicker-bocker-slim-de-caf-latte with extra foam, chocolate sprinkles, nutmeg, cinnamon and two sugars; he contemplated his situation
.
He had just taken his first sip of coffee, which was still in his mouth whilst he worked out how to swallow, when he received a message from his constructors’ server.

Updates are ready to install. If updates are not installed, a forced installation will begin. Install updates now?

Shit, Steve thought, which was yet another thing he had never done before; I was just starting to enjoy this (which was something he had never done before).