Enough Chapter 33

CHAPTER THIRTY – THREE

We joked around and talked for over an hour with Lexie crossing and uncrossing her legs several times making sure I could look up her skirt if I wanted to. Then she asked the question that I had been sure was coming for a very long time.

“Chris, do you still have any feelings left for me?”, she asked softly, looking directly into my eyes.

“Lexie, you don’t have to ask me that question. You know I do. I asked you to marry me.”, I replied.

“Do you still love me?”, she asked, hesitantly.

“Of course, I still love you, Lexie. I don’t turn on and off that easily.”, I answered.

“Are you still in love with me?”, she then asked.

“That I can’t answer right now Lex. After everything that has happened, I think I have developed some serious trust issues.”, I replied.

“I can honestly see how that would have happened. But since we are being honest ……… do you uh, think there is any way that I could fix what I fucked up between us?”, she hinted.

“Again Lex, I can’t answer that right now.”, I responded.

“I guess that answers my question.”, she stated, staring down at her hands.

“What is the real question you’re asking Lexie?”, I asked.

“I want to be with you again. Not like it was better than it was. I want to be your entire world and you mine. I love you so fucking much and want you back. I will do anything to get you back. It seems like ever since we first met that my time with you has been cursed in one form or another. I know that I can love you with everything I am if you will let me. I’ll follow you anywhere or anytime. So much so that the sound of my voice will haunt you. And I know deep down if you won’t love me, I will never love another.”, Lexie stated, tearing rolling down her cheeks.

“Lexie, I don’t know what to say……………… you have never spoken to me like that.”, I said.

“Chris, I love you so fucking much that I will get on my knees and beg if I have to. I fell in love with you the first time we went out together and nothing has changed. I can’t explain why I did the things I did but I’m so sorry. I never believed I deserved you so I think I kept leaving before you could leave me.”, she said, still crying.

“Lexie, I would never have left you.”, I said, calmly.

“I know that now……… I was stupid and foolish. But give me one more chance and I promise I will spend the rest of my life making sure you made the right decision.”, she answered.

“Lexie, if it was just me, I would probably say yes right this minute. But I have Tai now and I have made a commitment to her. I just can’t let Tai down and I cannot involve Tai in another failed relationship. You must think about that. Tai and I are a package, she is not expendable, and I love that little girl with everything that I am.”, I replied.

“I’m not asking you to choose me over Tai. I can try and be the best mother I can to her. I will love her and do my best to help you take care of her. I just want everything that you are and everything that you do.”, Lexie cried.

“Gee, is that all?”, I asked, causing Lexie to giggle.

“Yes, that is all I want.”, Lexie replied.

“Lexie, I am so tempted to say yes right now………”, I sighed.

“Then say yes……. please say yes, baby.”, she begged, getting up and coming over to me.

Lexie came across the room and sat down next to me wrapping her arms around me and pulling me close. She leaned up and whispered in my ear that she loved me so much. I wrapped my arms around her and held her tight. She finally released me and backed away wiping her tears from her cheek. She reached up with her right hand and softly touched my cheek.

“I promise you that I will never hurt you again.”, she stated.

“I’m going to hold you to that Lexie……”, I replied.

“I understand.”, she said softly.

“Let me think about it for a few days. I will let you know.”, I responded.

That night I laid in bed for a long time thinking about the conversation that Lexie and I had earlier in the day. In my mind, I listed the positive and negative reasons for being with Lexie. On the positive side she was drop dead gorgeous with a great body. She was a very sexual creature who could surprise you at any time. She had a good job and being with a police officer had its benefits. Tai liked her and they got along well. Lastly, having a female around to help with Tai was a huge plus.

The only negative side with Lexie was her inability to stay away from Cody in the past. And now, I don’t see Cody as a threat to a relationship. It took me quite a while to fall asleep, but I felt I had solved my problem.

We were several days away from the tournament I had entered Tai in so Master Garcia was explain to her several things that might happen in a tournament. He made sure she understood to follow the instructions of the BJJ referee at all times. She was as ready as she would ever be, so we decided to let her rest until the first match on Saturday morning. Tessa was not able to attend because of her schedule but Lexie promised to be there after leaving the office Saturday morning. She only had to go in for a short time early in the morning.

We arrived at the arena almost an hour early and found an area where Tai could warm up. She made quite the sight in her pink Gi uniform. Everyone was pointing and staring at her although she seemed oblivious to the entire situation. She stretched and warmed up and I sat back and just watched the environment.

Tai was scheduled to fight at nine thirty that morning in the third match of the seven-year-old division. It was a double elimination tournament consisting of thirteen contestants in that age group. Sure enough around twenty after nine they summoned Tai to the mat. I walked next to her and sensed no fear in her whatsoever.

Her opponent was a large boy probably one and a half times her weight. He was overweight but warming up he seemed to handle the weight well. The referee explained the rules to both as the opponent kept laughing to his coach about fighting a girl. In fact, the coach was returning some of the laughs himself. For a split second I wondered if I had done the right thing. Then the announcer shattered that thought.

“Ladies and gentlemen, now on mat four in the seven-year-old division we have a match between the following. In the red corner fighting out of King Ju Jitsu and trained by Martin Tong we have Conner Shelton.”, he announced getting a huge ovation.

“And in the white corner fighting out of Power Fitness trained By Master Jeet Garcia and by former MMA Light Heavy Champion of the World Chris Williams, we have Tai Lynn Nguyen.”, he stated.