Dear diary,

;tldr: Ethan Greenburg is a fucking loser. I guess it’s good I’m finally realizing this now before he managed to knock me up or worse — marry me. He shows up last night; drunk off his ass past 3am, crashing and banging his way up the stairs, so I get up and he’s sprawled out on the couch with all of his shit laying around, and I’m like WHAT THE FUCK ETHAN?!

I’d give you three guesses diary, but you’d get it in one because you’ve heard this story before; his roommates kicked him out, which, I explained to him for the umpteenth time is what happens when you lose your job and stop paying rent and lay around drunk all day not looking for a new one.

He’s all, I love you girl I just need your couch for a few days blah blah, and he takes my hand, and usually I’m like.. well you know, I used to think he was hot, but this time.. yeah not so much. Like he touched me, and I didn’t go all melty. Not because I was mad, which I was, and not because I tried not to feel anything, but yeah, it was like I’d suddenly developed an immunity to his bullshit. So I try to pull my hand away and he wont let go. You know how he doesn’t squeeze or anything he just, holds on, and I look at him, and he comes at me with those lusty drunk badboy eyes..

So I pretty much fell to my knees and sucked him off.

But wait, it’s not what you think. Let me explain about this new kid at work and I’ll circle back to the blowjob. I think the reason I’m feeling different about Ethan has something to do with this new kid, well, not him directly but my reaction to his reaction to me..