Comedy of Errors (gynecology edition)

“Miss Smith?”, I look up from the magazine I was reading. Totally had forgotten the time.

“Sorry!”, hastily I try folding the paper to put it back on the waiting areas table. Somehow it slipped my grip, landing on its spine and folding open at exactly the article I was reading.

A medical review on the benefits of sex toys. With images.

I felt blood rushing up to my face.

The assistant – a tall, very slender dark skinned and black haired young woman in a long white lab coat – simply smiled. The tag on her chest read “Samira Nadal.”

She ‘didn’t’ see what had happened. And the other waiting patients seemed to preoccupied with their own smart phones or magazines to notice.

“Your next. Please follow me.”

I felt strangely nervous as I stood up and walked behind nurse Nadal. Not because of the ‘incident’ – considering they had all those magazines laying around, they had to expect people reading them.

Maybe because it was a new gynecologist… and that’s always strange and embarrassing.

We walked down the hallway bordering on the entrance and waiting area. Doors read things like ‘Urology’ and ‘Andrology’…

Maybe it was strange that this clinic offered services for both women and men… and for the same range of medical issues…

We rounded a corner and I swear, the door the assistant opened hadn’t been there just a moment ago.. or was I just tired? Confused I followed her, noting this detail to the list of potential reasons to feel weird.

What I expected to be a room turned out to be a long and wide hallway – doors to the left and right, linoleum floor, gray ceiling panels and square light sources every so often. It smelled like hospital.

We moved pretty fast – otherwise I probably would have pondered more about the gurneys and wheel chairs, adorned with a surprising amount of leather straps. Or the faint noises coming from the doors. But she opened doors, led me through other floors, until we finally ended up in a larger room.

The first thing my eyes fell on was one massive gynecological chair, black leather and metal leg rests. Hanging from them were thick brown leather straps… like you’d expect in a horror movie. Other details like gray cabinets and tables, with all sorts of metal objects on top of them caught my attention briefly.

Only then I saw the doctor. A blond, short haired, woman maybe in her mid forties not as tall as the nurse, introducing herself as Weisz. What a luck. This was the one, my friend told me about. She ought to be good.

“You are late. But good that you are here. Let’s begin.”, the doctor called sternly.

I would have liked to interrupt, but something in her voice let me keep quiet.

“According to my documents – experimental check up?” – “Yes… wait? Experimental?”.

“Oh – that. We just are about to implement a new protocol. You opted for that, when you made your appointment. Nothing to worry about. Just a new diagnostics system we test…. A. Smith? Is that correct?”

I nodded. I meant to remember checking some box on the online form…

“Good. Then please, undress.” she closed, without any warning.

A bit baffled I stood up, and undid my summer dress. A moment later I stood in front of the doctor still sitting in her chair, watching me, just wearing light blue panties and bra.

“Your underwear too, please.”, it sounded like Dr. Weisz had to tell this every other patient. Getting a bit warmer in my face, I fumbled the bra open and handed it to nurse Nadal, who already stood behind me and collected the dress.

A cold shiver went through my body.

“Slip. Shoes.”, the doctor ordered with visibly diminishing patience. I wondered what Mary-Ann found appealing on her.

Finally I stood in front of the desk, completely naked, my hands folded before my private parts.

“There’s no need to hide this. We will see plenty of it, later.”,Dr. Weisz informed me. And.. .was that a smile? No…?

“But first – over to the scales and the measuring pole.”, she said in a tone that not only did not tolerate dissent – but didn’t even know the concept of it.

Weighing, measuring. Nurse Nadal called out the numbers, I was a little embarrassed, while standing there, surely beet red by now. To distract me I let my eyes wander.

This was the embodiment of a gynecological office. Or rather a bit of a nightmare of one. First of course Dr. Frankensteins Gyn-Chair… Then there was an old brown upholstered exam table. One of those massive constructs with lots of drawers underneath and separate arm rests , standing at one side.

A few large strange medical machines, were neatly lined up. Olden timey things with old screens, lots of buttons, cables, patches and other stuff.

The floor was in this greenish gray linoleum.