Cockbusters.

(Narrator) In this edition of our program the boys try to cum to grips with that old porn movie query

“How much cum is too much?”

Hopefully they can get their hands on the correct data to shoot some holes in this movie cliché.

Who are the Cockbusters?

Jay-me “The Heinie-man” who is always ready to answer the “call of booty.”
“Slam-it-in” Savage whose motto is “If it’s a tight fit, slam it in.”
Between them over 20 years special sex-effects for the porn movie industry.

Joining them is “Glory hole” Melaychic the man you need when you need something knocked up.
And the man who loves to read that an item requires batteries “Pants” Isonfire.

Last but not least is the high priestess of geek, fanboy fantasy, Carrie Mybum.

This team does not just bust cocks; it does so only after putting them to the test.

(J) Jay-me, (S) Slam-it-in, (C) Carrie, (G) Glory hole, (P) Pants and of course (N) Narrator.
Try changing voices when you read each line.

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(G + P) Hi Boss, got the email, is this to discuss what’s coming up in this episode.

(J) Cumming is the appropriate word.

(S) We have received a number of emails from porn fans about how much cum gets splashed around when they film the money shot.

(J) Some fans want to know do we use watered down yoghurt or a milk and flour mix to replicate semen and boost the volume.

(S) We want you guys to make a simulated penis capable of delivering a measured dose of artificial cum right in the face at the exact time the cameras roll.

(G) Sure we can do that but what are you going to be doing?

(J) We are meeting with a fertility expert to find out what is the average load of semen delivered during intercourse.

(N) So while Glory and Pants head off to talk to Carrie about an artificial penis Jay-Me and Slam are off to meet with Doctor X Grossout at the Fertility Understanding Clinic (FUC)

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Jay-Me and Slam-it-in drive off to the clinic.

(S) So Jay-me what do we know about this doctor.

(J) Well, according to our researchers he is the top guy in the state in regard to fertility problems in men and women. He also gets about a $1000 an hour to have women lay back and spread their legs so he can poke and probe their private parts.

(S) I just cannot imagine a guy starting his medical degree course with the plan in mind to poke women in their pussy’s and get paid for it.

(J) Luckily for us he is a fan of the program, which is why he is giving us a half hour for free to talk about cum.

(N) Lets hope the boys don’t end up with a handful of research.

(J) Thanks for seeing us Doctor Grossout. What we want to know is what is an average amount of cum ejaculated during sex.

(D) Our data has it between 5ml and 10ml or a teaspoon to a tablespoon.

(S) That’s not much at all.

(D) You must remember that for the purpose of reproduction quantity does not really matter it’s more about the quality of the sperm.

(J) So Doc if it’s a money shot in a porno how do they know how much the guy will unload.

(D) It depends on a number of factors including how long since his last ejaculation, age and fitness of the subject and of course how highly he has been stimulated.

(N) Lots of science stuff here so we will hit the fast-forward and find the boys back at their work shop outlining the experiment to Glory and Pants. Carrie wanders in and wants to know why she is being excluded seeing as she is an unofficial expert on getting guys to jerk off.

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(S) OK people here are the plan. In exchange for mentioning the name of Dr Grossout and his Fertility Understanding Clinic during the program as often as we can the good doctor will supervise our experiment for free.

(J) First off the 4 male members of the team will provide a base line sample to the doctor.

(S) Next, each of us will be provided with a different form of erotic stimulation and another sample taken.

(J) Finally we will get to engage in sexual intercourse and then we will compare each sample and see if there is any discernable difference in the quantity of cum produced.

(C) And I get to do what?

(J) You will be mixing up various combinations to get a close approximation of cum, that can be ejected from the artificial penis Glory and Pants are working on.

(S) Yes, and you need to test it for texture and taste compared to the original.