Changes in an Hour



I shivered, not from the cold, but from what I planned to do in but a few minutes time. I had been planning this for months; I had prayed about it, I had thought deeply about it, I had read up on the subject, and I had asked my friends about it. Most of my friends had accepted it; one
or two had tried preaching at me and a few had told me about how they already knew. I hoped my parents fell into the latter group; it would make this far easier.

My laptop, sitting open on my desk, pinged, drawing me from my thoughts. Colby had sent me a message on the IRC. “You there?” he inquired. I reached to answer, nudging the book on the brain as I did so, knocking it off of its fragile seat above my alarm clock and dislodging my egg project for Sociology. It tumbled to the ground, gaining a slight widening in the crack that had appeared there this very morning; it didn’t matter anymore.
“Yes,” I replied. I continued to sit staring into the screen of my laptop; maybe I could stay up here a little longer, put off the inevitable for a little longer. “I think I am going to tell them.” This was perfect for stalling; he would either spend time reassuring me or telling me about all that could happen.
“Are you sure?” he replied. He had done the same exact thing a few years ago and I

think he regretted it, possibly deeply.

“Not really,” I told him “but I want them to know, I am tired of sneaking around in the dark. I think part of the stress causing my hypertension is originating here.”
“It probably is, but this may end up with you in a more stressful situation.” Shit. I hadn’t

thought about that. “If you need a place to stay when this is over…”

“Thanks, I’ll remember that,” I replied, not sure exactly what he could offer in that area;

he had enough problems in his family without adding an extra person into the mix.

“I guess I will see you in a few hours. Give my teachers my regards; ask Mr. Cook if a mortician’s note will excuse me from his class will you? Come visit me in the morgue? I am signing off now.”
“LOLOLOL, I will give him the note personally, “he replied. I closed the IRC box; no record existed of the conversation except for the one he possibly still had open on his computer. I opened up my contingency document. It had specifics in case I was unable to go through with
this completely. I had written this document in case I died or ended up in a situation which may cause terrible things to happen. It described me; every single thing about me that my parents might be unable to accept was listed in this document. I set up an email to send itself with the document attached in a few days in the event that I was unable to come back. The email would send itself to Patrick, my best friend since the second grade, a few family members, and a few friends I had never been able to tell.