Beginner’s Meeting, A Play (Third Stab At Humor)
Beginner’s Meeting, A Play
Scene 1: A church basement. An odd looking assortment of people are sitting on metal folding chairs arranged in a circle. In the corner is a table with coffee and donuts.
Characters:
Charles: Middle aged man, about 40 dressed in a plaid sweater. He is the group leader.
Pete: a.k.a. Pervert Pete, a graying man of about 60 dressed in a raincoat.
Bob: A fidgety man of about 35 who continually clutches an inflatable sheep.
Alan: Middle aged man of about 48 dressed casually in jeans and a dress shirt.
Carrie: Middle aged woman, about 45 dressed rather scantily. Looks sort of like a cross between a transvestite hooker and a hooker.
Gwen: A ‘little person,’ she is dressed in a leather dominatrix outfit.
Act 1, Scene 1:
Charles: Welcome to the Parlin, New Jersey Beginner’s meeting of Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous. My name is Charles. I am a sex addict.
Group: Hi Charles, welcome.
Charles: I will be your group leader tonight. I want to welcome any new members. I also want to say that Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous is a self-sufficient non-profit organization that depends on your donations. I will pass the collection basket around as I continue the introduction. I would like to remind you again that we accept coins and currency but peep show tokens are not considered currency. Did you hear that, Pete?
Pete: Ah, yeah.
Charles: (passes around basket) Also, I would like to say that there is coffee and donuts on the table for your enjoyment. I have been getting complaints about someone fucking the holes in the donuts. Did you hear me, Pete?
Carrie: Did someone say fuck, I wanna fuck!
Charles: Did you hear me Pete?
Pete: Ah, yeah.
Charles: OK, does anyone have any announcements before we start the meeting?
(Silence)
Charles: OK, Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous is a 12-step group designed to help people with sex addictions. We were all in need once but now we are helping each other…
Carrie: I’m in need!
Charles: We are helping each other through support and service to others still suffering with sex addiction.
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