Lilly: They said I shouldn’t do it, but I’m going on vacation! I’m young and single, and maybe I’ll find a nice man, right? Or maybe I’ll just have some fun! I’m not gonna cum until I get laid! Oh my god! This place is dead! Just some old couples. No singles, hotties, or anything! Ugh! Ok, maybe they’re sleeping, getting ready for the night scene. Maybe once I dock in Africa…

…

Lilly: It’s been four days, we’ve finally docked! Tami nami na, eh eh, waka waka, eh ah ehe, slkdnfadfjkgbdfjkbsndfkjbgsfj alegway, cause this is Africa. Why did we have to arrive at night? There could be a lot of criminals running about. I’ll just stick to the well lit tourist areas. Somebody’s gonna wanna get their rocks off, right?

Lilly puts on her traditional styled African loin cloth and beaded necklaces. Her tits poke through, ready to show off.

Lilly: They’ll appreciate the authenticity, right? I’m not demeaning their culture? I can wear this, right? It’s Africa! Eh-ya-eh-ya-eh! I’m going for it! I’m nearly skipping down the hallway, my loin cloth and necklaces flap around, no panties or anything! It’s so sexy! I make it off the cruise ship and the town is lit up! Business is booming! It smells so good!

Kwame: Hey girl, would you like tour of Africa? Great for single lady!

Lilly: You know what, why not?

Lilly climbs in the back of the bicycle taxi without paying a dime.

Kwame: Hello, my name is Kwame. I. am. your. tour. guide. Welcome to Africa! Zulu did nothing wrong.

Lilly: Hi, I’m Lilly. This is so exciting! The cruise ship was so boring! (Even Kwame is starting to look good. Despite being a little old and chubby.)

Kwame: This here is tourist area. Prices here very high!

Lilly: Uh oh!

Kwame: Real Africa this way. Come!

Lilly: (We take a dirt path in the moon lit darkness, it’s a bit scary, but it’s like my own little adventure!) Africa is so beautiful! Even at night!

Kwame: Unda dis full moon, the whole savannah is lit up! And a quiet night like tonight, you can hear buffalo cross stream! Ok, now tour big finale, authentic African experience. Come!

Lilly: (He pedals faster towards glowing fire in the distance. When we arrive, we hear men chanting and beating drums . They were dancing around the fire, wearing scary face masks and loin cloths similar to mine! The music stops as they notice me and Kwame.)

Kwame: Ung Pala Un Goon Bala Noon!

Kofi: Jan Pala Man Galkan Mandaroon!

Kwame: They wish to know if you are worthy. Do everything they say.

Lilly: I don’t speak African!

Kwame: You will have to read their intent, you must think like them to be accepted!

Lilly: Hi.

Jabari: Tumba Mum Bam Wumbaloo.

Lilly: I don’t know what you’re saying, but Oonga Boonga Mothafucka.

Adewale: Oooh! Oonga Boonga!

Chinedu: Oonga Boonga! Oonga Boonga!

Amari: De wana wanga!

Chanting erupts.

Chief Thulani (To the tune of Jabba the Hutt): Bequeem!