My story begins, ironically, at the end of a chapter. After 7 years and another struggling year, my wife and I decided that it was best that we finally folded and got a divorce. Naturally, I think we were both hurting over our new reality and we both took to different things to cope. She developed a new relationship while I drank away my hurt. This seemed to work for me but I didn’t know just how well it would help me find myself until a few months later.

Towards the end of the marriage I had begun playing an online game with an old friend of mine who had moved away. I knew he came out as gay while he was in college but thought nothing of it. We would chat during the games about what was going on in our lives and soon enough he would start to tell me that he had always had a crush on me and often thought of making a move when we used to hang out together. I would, in turn, laugh it off and usually change the subject.

Soon our conversations moved to Snapchat with each of us taking pictures of whatever was around us at the time. Mostly the TV or the wall. One night when he sent me a picture of his TV, I noticed he was enjoying some gay porn. I had had a few drinks so we were laughing back and forth about it. This is the moment it all started.

“You should definitely send me a picture of your dick!”, he said. ‘Haha, you are fucking crazy!”, I replied. All it took was a few more suggestions of him wanting to see a picture of my cock for him to jerk off to. Next thing I knew I was sending pictures of my dick, raging boner, and then followed with videos of me jerking myself off.