Always Caught

BY PABLO DIABLO

Copyright 2019

You’ve probably met my best friend, Alan Davis. Alan always seemed to have a dark cloud hanging over his head. Don’t believe me? When Alan was 13, he discovered masturbating, but of course the very first time he tried it he got caught by his Mother. She walked into the bathroom, where he sat appendage in hand looking at his Father’s Playboy magazine. Mom screamed, Alan dropped the magazine and that was the end of that for a while.

About a year or a year and a half later, Alan got the bright idea to smear peanut butter on that same appendage and call the dog over. Again, he got caught, this time by his Father who made his life miserable for a while. He just kept saying that Alan must be some sort of pervert. His Father figured if he had that much time to come up with these perverted ideas, then he must not have enough chores to do around the house.

At 16, Alan had the first young lady that was quite interested in him. Of course, his two or three best friends teased him that the dorky girl with the braces liked him because there was no one dorkier than him for her to like. This time, he got caught staring at some of the cheerleaders and not paying any attention to the girl that liked him.

You could say that Alan had the best intentions and the worst outcomes.

By the time Alan was 18, he was a senior. The senior class whore chose to chase Alan one Friday night at the weekly football game. Once again, he got caught with his pants around his ankles having sex with Jessica, the class slut. Practically everyone saw as she ‘seduced’ him right under the bleachers while the game was in progress. He further got caught by having to admit to his Mother that he needed to go see the doctor as he was so itchy in his private parts area. Mom was not amused.

The doctor gave him the proper medicine to rid himself of the dreaded itch. But another round of sex with Miss Jessica rendered the medicine useless. Mom had to take him back to the doctor, who laughed at him and his always being caught.

His Mother and Father divorced just a couple of weeks before he graduated from High School. He chose to live with his Mother, as he couldn’t stand any further verbal beatdowns from his Father. At least when he got caught doing something wrong or making a wrong choice, his Mother didn’t give him a lecture and tell him he was just plain stupid.

Alan applied to several colleges, however, he didn’t have any athletic skills. His grades were mostly C’s, but he did have an A in art. He tried to write the essays that they requested promoting himself as something that he wasn’t. They did their due diligence and once again, he got caught, this time by the academic institutions as they all rejected him.

Then along came Penelope. Tall, blonde, good grades, comes from a well to do family, honor roll, multiple scholarships offers from nearly a dozen colleges.