We lived in Kerala. When I attained the age of sixteen my parents promised me in marriage to a wealthy British gentleman, whom I had seen but twice and did not admire. This also meant I had to convert to Christianity from my earlier religion Hinduism. My love was already given to Vimalesh, a handsome young gentleman. He was elegantly formed, his hair and eyes were as dark as night and he could dance to perfection. But it was for his gentle, winning smile that I loved him. On the evening of the day that my parents had announced their determination to me, I had gone to be alone in the orange grove in the farthest part of our garden, there to sorrow over my hard fate. In the midst of my grief I heard the voice of Vimalesh calling me. Could it be he who had been banished from the house and whom I never expected to see again? He sprang down from the garden wall, folded me in his embrace and covered my hair with kisses for I had hidden my blushing face on my bosom. Then we talked of our sad lot. Vimalesh was poor and it would be impossible to marry without the consent of my parents; we could only mingle our tears and regrets. He led me to a grassy bank concealed by the orange trees and rose bushes, then he drew me on his lap and kissed my lips and cheeks and eyes. I did not chide him, for it must be our last meeting, but I did not return his kisses with passion. I had never felt a wanton desire in my life, much less not when I was so sad. His passionate kisses were no longer confined to my face but were showered on my neck, and at length my dress was parted and revealed my huge breasts to his ardent lips. I felt startled and made an attempt to stop him in what considered an impropriety, but he did not stop there. I felt my skirts being raised with a mingled sensation of alarm and shame which caused me to try to prevent it, but it was impossible–I loved him too much to struggle against him and he was soon lying between my naked thighs. ‘Maya Rani,’ he said, ‘if you love me, be my wife for these few moments before we part.’ I could not resist the appeal. I offered my lips to kisses without any feeling save innocent love, and lay passive while I felt him guide a stiff, warm object between my thighs. It entered where nothing had ever entered before and no sooner was it entered than he gave a fierce thrust which seemed to tear my vitals with a cruel pain. Then he gave deep sigh and sank heavily upon my bosom. I kissed him repeatedly, for I supposed it must have hurt him as much as it did me, little thinking that his pleasure had been as exquisite as my suffering had been. Just at that moment the harsh voice of my duenna resounded through the garden, calling, ‘Maya!