A Morris Man’s Tale Part 3

All characters are fictitious, If a character name is used in connection with a side, it’s just co-incidence if that given name belongs in that side. Insofar as song lyrics being included I don’t know the legalities or etiquette involved, I have given the opening few and last few lines if that is all that is needed or the song in full if the text needs it and credit to the author in either case, traditional songs are treated the same but credited as Traditional.

This is a fiction story, not fantasy and while there is a lot of passion and some very erotic action in later parts and in book two if you are looking for raw action then I am sorry but this isn’t the book for you.



Chapter Five
Deception
We leave the bar, and go down the steps, turning left towards the exit for the toilets, downhill to the toilets and I tell her once she has changed, to go out the door at the end and find us in the marquee, Jenny goes into the ladies with her carrier bags, and I go into the gents, I might as well since I’m here. When I leave the gents, a queue has formed at the ladies; that could be because of Jenny changing in there, evil I know, but I have to chuckle to myself.

As I go outside I am struck by how warm it seems to be getting, well, it was a warm front that gave us the rain yesterday, so I shouldn’t be that surprised. In the Marquee it is easy to spot who I am looking for, they are fairly striking after all, and when I get to Sue and Val I lower my box and jacket to the concrete.
“Hi Sue, Val, is anyone in the queue yet or am I to have the honour of being the first to open my wallet?”
“Ken’s over there, behind Harry, he got here first, I thought he was rushing for the toilet, so he could hide and avoid the first round.”

“So where is Jenny?” “How did the shopping go?” “Did she spend a lot of your money?” “What did she get?” If they had rehearsed it they couldn’t have got the timing better as they asked alternate questions; it was only when they heard themselves that they burst out laughing and had to stop.
“Right, here we go, Round one question one, Jenny is in the ladies, getting changed, Question two, the shopping went very well considering the difference in our ages and fashion sense, in which I am apparently sadly lacking, my turn for a question now, do either of you know of an underwear shop here or do we have to cross the river?”

“I thought you passed one down the road a bit opposite the Two Brewers,” said Val.
“We probably did then, Hertfordshire Holly were dancing near there, we watched them, Jenny wasn’t impressed, so we’ll go back there after the lunch break. To continue with the questioning, fourthly, she didn’t spend any of my money, she wouldn’t let me pay, next, you will see some of what she bought when she comes in? I was allowed after much protest to buy her a half pint tankard, I told her it was traditional that your first tankard is always a gift; don’t rock the boat, please.” Ken and Harry return with four full tankards which are duly handed round.”You should have tapped us when we were getting these we could have saved you queuing again.”

“I don’t know what Jenny will want; I might as well wait till she gets here and let her read the tasting notes.
“Here she comes,” says Harry, who is facing the entrance, she looks great in the off-white flared skirt with the white floral blouse open down the front tucked into the waistband of the skirt and the orange strappy top under it.

Sue and Val are either side of Harry, Ken is next to Sue so if we open the circle there is space for Jenny between me and Ken. We open the circle to make space for her and she speaks to me first, in a fairly sharp tone, “You perv, I wondered why you were keen on this skirt, now I know, I was checking my appearance in the full length mirror at the top of the corridor, and against the light this skirt is practically see through, I think I will go and put my trousers back on.” Harry, who is facing her and looking into the light, comes to my defence.

“What do you mean? I’m looking into the light and it looks perfectly ok to me, what do you think Val? Or am I a perv as well?”

“Sorry Jenny, I know we are all a different generation to you, but I think you look really good, do you know what this makes me think of? And Jenny, you probably won’t have a clue what I’m talking about, back in 1980 or 81 there was a lot of fuss over some pictures that a newspaper had of Lady Di, while most photographers at an arranged photo call were taking front view pictures, a couple of them sneaked round behind her and took some pictures against the light, again as with you now, her legs were in silhouette, the fuss was that she was a prospective royal and that the picture breached royal protocol. So unless you can show that you have royal connections, you will just have to accept that Frank has an eye for making a girl look good, what else do have? As an outfit what you have on matches together marvellously did you get it as an outfit?

“No, these came from two different shops, as to the rest of it, so far I have a skirt that is too short, I don’t have the legs for it, a jacket, a cardigan and a couple of dresses; and I do still need undies, “
“We have already discussed your undies or the lack of them, you were too busy watching Hertfordshire Holly to look around you, and there was lingerie shop behind or facing you, near the Two Brewers.
“How about christening your tankard then Jenny, I have the tasting notes for what is available, have read through and let me know what you fancy”

“I have a question, was Frank spinning me a line about the traditions surrounding the gifting of tankards.

“Do you mean that you don’t buy your own first tankard, if so that’s true?”Answered Sue. “However who first fills it is entirely up to you. Have you made any sense of the notes?”

“No, afraid not, I am by choice a wine drinker, I don’t know what hoppy or malty even mean. I haven’t tasted either,”

“Look everyone, give her a taste of each of what we have, then she can have one of those or pick something different,

“I’m on Lunchbreak,” says Ken try a drop of this.”
“There’s a lot of bitterness in it and not a lot sweetness or alcohol to off-set it”

“I’m on Frigging” says Harry try this.”
“That’s nicer, sweeter but stronger I think”

“I’m drinking XT,” from Val,
“Not too sure about that, I don’t like the aftertaste.”

“Finally this is an IPA with a top.” From Sue.
“All can notice is the lemonade, although the beer isn’t offensive,

“So what’s it to be then, Friggin’ in the rigging, or something else,”
“What are you having, I could have a taste of that as well, couldn’t I?”

“I’ll have Nelson’s Blood, anyone need a refill?” All declines the offer, so I head towards the bar with Jenny following close behind, it will take a couple of minutes to get served so while I am waiting I ask if that is all the anger she can generate.

“That was more than enough of a display to make Ken pay for the beer; but it was amazing how everyone came to your defence.”
“That’s because I’m right, you really look good, nobody commented on having your hair down; and the skirt is translucent not see through. Modest as well aren’t I? Pint of Nelson’s please” My beer is handed over and Jenny takes a sip,
“I’ll have that please”
“Another Half of Nelson’s please.” I pay for the beer and turn to face Jenny,” you are beautiful, a proper flower, thank you for being here for me.”

“Now, now, we have to make like we aren’t keen on each other for a bit longer, how long till the Bounty Hounds start,” I look to the ‘stage’,
“They are in position, they will start soon. Have you seen much live music?”
“Would you believe I have never seen live music on this sort of scale? My sister had a band at her wedding reception. Band and guests together totalled less than one hundred.”
“Right let’s get back to the rest, see if you can find another sharp remark, then we will go up front to watch and listen.
Ken asks “What did she decide on, Frigging?”
“No, I have found a lady of rare taste and refinement with an educated palate who knows good ale when she finds it, this lady drinks of Nelson’s Blood.”
“Hey Sue, Guess what Jenny’s on.”
“Frigging” “No, Nelsons Blood”
“Wow I don’t know how she can.”
“How can you drink that, Jenny? It’s horrible, like drinking tar,”

“It would appear that my taste in beer is better than Frank’s sense of decency when it comes to clothes”
“If my taste is that bad, try the other skirt and the cardigan instead of that skirt and blouse next time you go to the ladies, let everyone else vote when you get back. Looser buys. Ok.”
“Ok, but I can’t be bothered to wait, I’m going now.”
“What’s got into Jenny today, she was happy enough this morning, what happened?” Asked Ken.
“I don’t know, I have never claimed to understand women, if she asks for an opinion I will give it, if she doesn’t like it it’s not my problem.”
“You didn’t give an honest opinion about clothes to a woman? You did, didn’t you? No wonder you’re in the mire!”
I look into my Nelson’s Blood and smile from ear to ear; I might have got one past Ken. Yippee!
We are in practically in the same positions as when Jenny came in first time round, and this time, because more people have moved to the front for the Bounty Hounds there is a lot more space for her to fill as she enters the Marquee, she looks stunning, the skirt is short, nearly six inches above her knees, she has good legs, the green of the skirt meshes perfectly with the orange of her top, and the cashmire sweater worn unbuttoned seemed to cling to her top accentuating her figure, as she approached her smile was nearly as broad as mine, but nobody was looking at her face.

“Ok folks,” I say, “Time to vote, do I have any form of acceptable dress sense when it comes to ladies clothing, and will those in favour please raise your tankards.
“By a vote of five to one, I declare that Jenny is getting the beer in!” Jenny comes to me and quietly asks do I look nice?”
“Everyone here thinks you look great, didn’t you look in that mirror when you left the ladies? Of course you did, and because you did you know it as well as I.” The Bounty hounds fire up at this point so I have to lean close to her to ask.
“How do we find out about the bet? I want to hold you; I know the dispute is phoney. What do we do next?”
“I don’t know, maybe you can talk to Harry, see if Ken or Sue has given in.”
“Ok if I get the beer in then bladder pressure will give me a chance to talk to Harry.”
“No, I lost, I have to buy the beer,” turning to the others, she asks, “Right, I have to get them in, who wants what, Speak now or go without.”

“Lunchbreak, Frigging, XT and IPA and One and a half Nelson’s Blood is the total order, I carry the men’s tankards, Jenny has the ladies tankards, we get to the front and after a very short wait we get the beer in. Jenny, of course, pays. I am beginning to think that she has standards very close to my own. We get the drinks back to the others who have managed to get a table, as we sit together; we hear that they will be dancing again at two thirty.

“Where are you planning on dancing?” I ask.
“Probably at the Two Brewers or the French Hospital, then try for a spot at the War Memorial, if we can’t get in there we will move round the corner to Ye Arrow. The Bounty Hounds start playing Honour and Praise, “Here you go this is what it’s supposed to sound like;
“On a fine summers morning we lay at the Quay,
The holds were filled high with the treasures of the sea,
So that they could be transported by men such as we,
To homeland and for queen. And so on….

At the end of the song Jenny is looking very moist in the eyes, there is a story in there and I would like to know more, but I won’t mention it, I hope others don’t either.
The next song is another Fairport standard, written by John Richards and titled The Deserter, this is a lament for the execution of World War One shell shock victims, I don’t know why, but all these songs about W.W.1 really get to me, No-one in my family tree on either side were significantly involved, I suppose someone will come up with a psychobabble explanation for it.
“Well it’s twenty past two, bottoms up; it’s time we were getting going again. Are you going to play along for a couple Frank? If you don’t it’s a waste of energy carting that about all day, or is it a status symbol?
“I might well, later on, but first I have to go to the gents,”
“No ribald comments but I had better as well.” Says Harry, “Back in a minute.”
As we are standing in the queue for the gents I ask Harry if he knows anything about the bet he says “I know nothing but Val is doing a lot more smiling at Sue since Jenny had a go at you, If I go back first, I’ll listen for any clues, give me a minute.” As it happens, he passes Jenny in the corridor on his way back, to the table. As Harry sits again to finish his Frigging. Sue announces “All right, I was wrong; I could have sworn they were close, sorry dear, your beer fund just took a hit,”

“Don’t worry about it, I thought you were right as well, I’m glad I didn’t up the stakes to Sunday as well! Still it’s not too bad, A round in Ye Arrow when we finish and a couple more here on the way back won’t clear me out, But you are buying tomorrow,” he said looking straight at Sue and winking. I return to the table and down the last of my beer, and seeing Jenny’s isn’t empty “I assume Jenny’s gone to the ladies, is she coming back or are we meeting outside.” Shrugs all around.

“Right I’ll wait here for her; we will probably listen to the rest of the set while we have another one and catch you later outside or at Ye Arrow.”
I settle in for a bit of a wait and after another couple of minutes, she comes in to the marquee, I stand up to make sure she sees me and after looking all around, crosses to me puts her arms around my neck and kisses me soundly, I instantly put my arms around her waist and rest my hands on her bottom, this lasts a few seconds and as we let each other go, she again looks around. “Feel better now?” she asks, eyes shining brightly as she looks into my eyes. I nod.

“Good, has everyone gone?” “Yes thankfully, otherwise the cat would most definitely be out of the proverbial bag, “Would you like another one,” I ask raising my tankard, “we could then move closer to the front for the rest of the set.” “Please, I could get taste for that.” I go to the bar while Jenny watches our stuff, I watch her while I slowly progress to the front, and she keeps looking down at her legs, almost as though see doesn’t think they are hers. “Pint of nelsons please and half of Hobgoblin please.” Let’s see if she notices the difference, I pay for the drinks and go back to the table and sit to her left, “why do you keep looking at your legs, haven’t you seen them before?”

“I haven’t seen this much of them before in a skirt; I really do think it’s too short.”
“If you think that is too short, I don’t think you would like to wear that, moving my tankard towards the bar, to the right of Jenny, is a girl with a skirt that only just came below her sex.