A Favor for Danny Boy – A Halloween Story

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All of my writing is intended for adults over the age of 18 ONLY. Stories may contain strong or even extreme sexual content. All people and events depicted are fictional and any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental. Actions, situations, and responses are fictional ONLY and should not be attempted in real life.

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It takes a lot to surprise me, but having a six-foot tall leprechaun dressed in a green baseball hat, green running shoes, green sweatpants, and a white Notre Dame sweatshirt ring my doorbell did it. He didn’t look like a leprechaun, but I knew that’s what he was. I’d recognize Danny Boy anywhere. Especially since the stylized, fists-up little man on the Notre Dame sweatshirt wasn’t the true Notre Dame logo. Instead, it was a fairly accurate portrayal of the Danny Boy who had visited me in the middle of the night a few years ago.

“What do you want?” I asked cautiously as he stood there grinning at me.

“I’ve gottten meself into a wee tiny spot of trouble,” he said, bowing his head slightly, “and I’ve got a wee bit of a favor to ask of ye.”

“Drop the fake accent, Danny,” I said curtly as I motioned for him to enter. “We both know you can speak perfect English.”

“And American,” he said as he stepped into my living room.

“What’s the favor?” I asked, trying to keep the anger out of my voice. It is never a good idea to piss off a leprechaun, even if they are looking very human and vulnerable at the moment.

“I got a little boastful with the new Queen of the Daoine Sidhe,” he said, standing with his hands held in front of him.

“And…” I said firmly.

“That’s the Queen of the Fairy Mound,” he explained quickly and then added, “I talked about what you did for that poor lass who was trapped in Connecticut a few years back… how you agreed to be her power giver.”

“And…” I repeated.

“Well, you see,” he said holding out both hands toward me palms up as if he was holding something, “she is a new Queen. You might even say she is a virgin Queen.”

“And…” I said once more. I don’t know if my exasperation was showing in my voice.

“And she wants you to be her power giver,” he said now holding his hands together with the fingers clasped as if begging me. His voice suddenly sounded desperate as he said, “You’ve got to do this for me. She has me pot of gold.”

“I thought leprechaun gold was fake,” I said cautiously.

“It is,” he said derisively, “… totally useless …turns to lead or worse once it is taken out of the pot.”

“So what is the problem?” I asked. I was now starting to be confused. Danny Boy had shown his power in several different ways in the times we had met. I couldn’t understand why he was so concerned about a pot of fake gold that he could recreate with a nod of his head.

“It’s the pot itself,” he said, his voice cracking slightly. “The pot most people ever see is as fake as the gold within it. But this was my true pot that is always hidden deep beneath the earth. It is from that golden pot that I derive all my power. She took it and used it to wish me a hundred times bigger and then half again.”

He gestured to himself. Since he was about three inches taller than I am and I am an even six foot. That made him six-three, or 75 inches tall.

“So one-half inch is your true height,” I said, trying not to laugh.

“And if I can’t get my pot back,” he wailed, now looking scared… very scared, “I will end up staying this size… and becoming mortal!!!”

“Being mortal’s not so bad,” I replied. “I’m mortal.”

“But you haven’t made a lot of powerful enemies among the wee people and the bean-sidhe… the citizens of the fairy mound.” he said, clutching at my shirt. “Do you have any idea what they might do to me if they found out I lost my powers?”

I let out a deep sigh and said, “What do you want me to do?”

“She’ll be coming to you in a few days at Halloween,” he said nervously. “Just let things… happen… between you. She promised she will give me back my pot after that.”

“So is she going to possess someone like the banshee did Marie O’Callahan back in Connecticut?” I asked. I really didn’t like the direction this was all leading.

“No, no, nothing like that,” Danny Boy said almost pushing me back with his hands. “She has to be herself for the magic to work properly.”

“So I am supposed to make love to a Fairy Queen who is what… a half inch tall?” I said. I now couldn’t control the exasperation in my voice.

“Well,” Danny Boy said, “if she had her true powers, she could make herself any size she wanted, but she’s only got child powers right now so she’s only…” He held his hand well below his waist.

“Great,” I said, “she’s not even three feet tall!” I almost yelled.

“Not exactly,” Danny Boy said gulping loudly. He was now sweating profusely. “She’s that to me when I’m my normal size.”

“Then what you’re asking is impossible!” I yelled, no longer trying to hold back my exasperation.

“But it will be Halloween,” Danny Boy whined. “A lot of impossible things happen on Halloween.”

“But it won’t be Dark Night,” I replied curtly. “And if I’m remembering right, the first dark of the moon following the Autumnal Equinox was October sixth this year. That’s when the true magic could have happened and we already missed it.”

“But a lot of magic still happens on Halloween because people think it will,” Danny Boy said. I don’t know if he was now sounding desperate or hopeful.

“OK… OK…” I finally said. “If a Fairy Queen attempts to seduce me while I am at the Halloween party I’m planning to go to, I will let it happen.” I held my hand up with my thumb and forefinger just a little ways apart and then said almost angrily, “But you know it won’t happen… because it can’t.”

“Maybe she will give me credit for trying,” Danny Boy said. His head was hanging forward and there were tears dripping from his face.

“You’ve gotten yourself out of worse scrapes,” I said, putting my hand on Danny’s shoulder. He looked up at me like he didn’t believe me. I didn’t believe me either.

“Where will you stay in the meantime?” I asked.

“I’ve got some powers left, for now,” he said. “As long as I stay below ground I can keep myself hidden from… everyone.”

He stared into my eyes for a long time. Finally I gave a deep sigh and said, “OK, you can stay in my basement for the few days until Halloween. But if the Fairy Queen doesn’t give you credit for trying, you’re on your own.” I liked Danny Boy, but I really didn’t want to be in the middle of a leprechaun war.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you,” Danny Boy said and then he sort of melted down through the floor as if he were riding an elevator.

The next few days were a little tense for me. One, no matter what I needed, I did NOT go down into the basement. And two, every time something creaked in the house I spun around expecting to see a Fairy Queen or a host of angry wee people behind me.

Finally Halloween came. Usually Halloween is a high point of the year for me. I love the decorations and the parties and, yes, the scantily-clad sweet young things who are letting their inner slut run wild as naughty nurses or whatever. But this year I couldn’t get into the spirit of things. I would have skipped the party altogether except for the fact that Danny Boy kept popping up through the floor at regular intervals to remind me that I had to go. I was tempted to start playing whack-a-mole with him, but the more reasonable side of my mind kept reminding me that leprechauns have really long memories and really bad tempers and will eventually retaliate if you do something nasty to them.

I almost didn’t even wear a costume to the party, but Danny Boy insisted, so finally I did a haphazard makeup job and put on an old tuxedo. With my hair slicked back and a set of false fangs in my mouth, I was ready to be a really bad, schlocky vampire.

I greeted everyone with “Gooood Ewening” and insisted on kissing each young… or old lady on the back of the hand. After a short while, everyone was smiling at me, but no one was standing near me. It was as if the crazy uncle from up in the attic had snuck down to join the party and everyone was keeping their distance. Normally, I would find that very disappointing, but this time I was very pleased with myself. I had intentionally made it very difficult for a Fairy Queen or anyone else to get close enough to me to seduce me.

Further adding to the idea that I was just a little off, I jumped up and stopped our host, James, from swatting a moth that had gotten in and was bothering everyone. I carefully captured it in my hands and then took it outside through the patio doors. “You never know,” I said in my best Bela Lugosi voice, “on Halloween night, something like that might be a fairy princess in disguise.”

Everyone laughed and I attempted to smile at them, but the reality was that what I said was truth. There was a fairy princess– actually an immature fairy queen– who very much wanted to attend this party. After that, whenever there was a fly or moth or something like that, people would call out, “Hey Dracula, you’ve got another fairy trying to crash the party.”

I think I helped two more moths and about a dozen flies out the patio door. Luckily no wasps or bees showed up.